look to the pasta

So a Catholic church in my city has two almost-full skeletons of saints, which is pretty crazy. And apparently they just had the relics analyzed by archaeologists, so that's kind of interesting, so I was reading the news article about it in the local paper, and then hit this: "Catholics venerate relics in part as a reminder of the saint’s holiness and to pray for their intercession, a practice that is alien to many Protestants who view it as idolatrous and ghoulish."

Lolololol WOW, don't hold back, Courier-Journal, way to keep it professional. GHOULISH.

Anyway, let's talk TV!

( The Emmys )

( The Office???????? )

( Parks and Rec )

( The Voice )

1) Every spring I get excited when it's finally warm enough to have the windows open... and then every spring I remember why every fall I'm psyched when we get to shut the windows, because suddenly I can hear everything that's going on in the whole neighborhood. Dear lady who every night at 10 pm for the past three years has called, "Kitty! Kitty!" for fifteen minutes... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NAME YOUR CAT.

Anyway, the house next door is only about five feet away from my bedroom window, so I almost always have the blinds closed in there. But last weekend it was really hot, so on Saturday night around 1, I was in my room reading with the light on, but I had my window open to get a breeze, and the blinds up so as not to inhibit the breeze. From where the head of my bed is, I couldn't see anything out the window, but it was open. Aaaaaand then I hear this dude moaning, and this lady shushing him.

Yeah, the couple next door was having sex, and shushing each other because it must have been very apparent that MY OPEN WINDOW WAS RIGHT THERE AND I COULD HEAR EVERYTHING. I mean, on the one hand, I appreciate the shushing because I didn't want to hear that, but on the other hand, them being totally AWARE I WAS THERE was almost creepier. Basically, ( this was my face )

2) We don't have furniture in our living room anymore. The couch went back out the window from whence it came (we videotaped it going out the window this time, so a post about that will be forthcoming -- stay sharp, internet). So basically for the next month before we both move, being in the living room is like CAMPING. By which I mean really uncomfortable -- we put a futon mattress on the floor, it's pretty hilarious.

Anyway. So all that to say that this morning when my roommate and her boyfriend walked in, I was sitting on a futon on the floor in the middle of the living room crosslegged in my pajamas, eating cereal out of a bowl and watching the Disney channel, as you do... when you're eight.

( JONAS PREMIERE! And leaked episode 2. )

3) Speaking of the Jonas Brothers, if you want an awesome introduction, you need to check these out:

JNS 101: Introduction to Jonases by irishmizzy
JNS 102: Modern Jonas History by agate
JNS 201: Jonas Music Theory by miss_bennie
JNS 315: Jonas Sexual Development by mozarts_friend

4) Apparently I'm also going to do all my super old, super out-dated TV catch-up now. God, why do I never post anymore?

5) ( Life! )

6) ( The Office )

7) I really like this Winters/Nixon Band of Brothers vid by kaydeefalls

8) Theories About Nuclear Winters is a Calvin/Susie Calvin & Hobbes fic that is so good it made me cry.

9) moireach introduced me to a drink that consists of creme de cacao, milk, and seltzer, and NO LIE, you guys, it is the best thing I have ever put in my mouth. Every time I drink it IT IS BETTER THAN I REMEMBERED IT BEING, and I overhype it EVEN TO MYSELF. Also, it was invented for oilmen in the old west or something, so even though it tastes like a fizzy chocolate soda, it is actually BADASS. Smith and Curran: you will have no regrets.

Lately, in the television show of my life, a lot of RL characters who left the series years ago have suddenly popped up out of nowhere to cause drama, as though we're a) having ratings problems, and b) gearing up for a big season finale. Which is a little troubling, because I do not have time for the mayor to turn into a giant snake at my students' graduation, you guys.

Anyhow, actual television! I have been watching my stories, but haven't found time to post about it, because now they're on EVERY WEEK which takes me by surprise. I'm all, "B-But we just had a new episode seven days ago! Shouldn't there be a four month wait now?"

( The Office )

( How I Met Your Mother )

( 30 Rock )

( SVU )

( Life )

( In Treatment )

I can't believe Jenna Fischer and James Gunn are splitting. Between that and Owen Wilson's suicide attempt, I don't even know, man. (Last night I was getting a pedicure and reading the most recent People magazine cover article about said suicide attempt. The article concluded that depression probably played a role. STOP THE PRESSES.) I always feel like such an idiot when celebrity news genuinely gets me down, but geez, I'm not made of stone here.

In more cheerful celebrity news, Stephen Colbert is the subject of an excellent Vanity Fair article, with pictures that -- well, no Sunday School teacher should look like this, let's just say. Sweet mother of mercy.

This new promo for The Office has made me SO PSYCHED for next season, you guys (VERY SPOILERY). Here's some brief Office meta that I've been thinking about over the summer, re: the show and fandom. ( Office stuff with some DVD talk )

I go to this hippie doctor for my fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome, one of those types that uses conventional medicine and homeopathic blah blah - it's kind of ridiculous sometimes, but she's done 200% more for me feeling better than any doctor I've ever had, so whatevs. Usually when I go in she injects... something into my surgery scar, which always really helps me feel a lot better generally. But today at my appointment, she told me that she has a new way to treat it, without injection, that involves - get this - a device that you point at the scar that apparently puts your body back into line with the vibrations of the earth. There is a crystal in the device. SHE SHOT HEALING BEAMS OF CRYSTAL AT ME. Hahahahahahaha. Strangely, I do feel better? I don't even know, you guys. It was weird.

The great thing about going to a chronic fatigue doctor is that they always act like I'm heroic for, like, leading a normal life and "only" sleeping 10 hours a night. Their eyes get all wide and they're like, "You're doing SO WELL. You walk to campus? Good for you!" Haha. Yes. I'm practically a mountaineer, let me tell you.

I'm on a lot of medication for this annoying medical stuff, obvs, most of which I've been on for years and years. The weird thing about the medication is that the pharmacy keeps adding warning labels to the bottles which haven't been there before - some of this stuff I've been taking for almost 10 years, warning-free, and yet. Some of the warnings are normal, like "don't take antacids within 4 hours of taking this medication," or "take with a full glass of water". But some of them have gotten WEIRD-ASS. One says, "You should avoid prolonged or excessive exposure to direct and/or artificial sunlight while taking this medicine." Um. (When I read this out loud to her, moireach said, "Well, maybe you shouldn't be taking vampiricillin, then.") And another one says, "Carry or wear medical identification stating you are taking this medicine." Uh... no. I will not be doing that, but thank you. Why after years they have suddenly decided I should wear medical identification for this one, I have no idea, but it's creepy.

In television news, How I Met Your Mother got renewed! HOORAY! I was stressing about that one kind of a lot. ALSO, tonight is the season finale of The Office! *bites nails* (I'm still unspoiled, keep me that way!) In celebration of what has been a fantastic third season so far, here's a list of ten platonic unexpected character moments, where two characters you wouldn't necessarily think of interacting have some kind of moment together. (I would say top ten, but I'm sure I'm forgetting some - I am taking nominations of other moments in the comments!) So here they are, in no particular order.

( Ten Platonic Unexpected Office Moments - goes up through Beach Games )

So this was random: BJ Novak's dad, William Novak, edited "The Big Book of Jewish Humor", and was giving a book reading tonight at the book store down the street from my apartment. I don't know about you, but "I saw BJ Novak's dad read from The Big Book of Jewish Humor" is not a sentence I'm willing to pass up, so la_cspan and I went to hear him. There were maaaaybe 20 people there, tops, and let me tell you, BJ looks JUST like his dad. It was kind of creepy, actually, like I'd taken a time machine 30 years into the future, when Ryan Howard will still be working at Dunder-Mifflin, married to Kelly with five kids he didn't exactly plan on, but mostly likes in spite of himself. Hee. Anyway, BJ's dad seemed really nice and funny and adorable, and has ghost-written books for a buttload of celebrities, and it was really interesting. Plus, right before he started, the ladies sitting in front of me, whom he seemed to know, were talking about how one of their sons, Ben, used to read from The Big Book of Jewish Humor all the time as a kid, and BJ's dad came up at the end of the story and was like, "Wait, Ben? My Ben?" Which I think would be BJ. <3 <3 <3 My heart, you guys.

moireach is in California, so missed the whole experience. When she heard that BJ's dad was going to be reading, she got all outraged and said, "You get to see everyone good!" Hahaha, what? Apparently "everyone good" meant "Amy Sedaris" and "BJ Novak's dad" - which, you do have to admit that I live a star-studded life. (This is my sarcastic voice.)

This is the first time I've been here while she's been out of town since we got this apartment, so it's been weird and quiet. I spent the first weekend while she was gone being all, I WILL NOT PICK UP ANY OF MY BELONGINGS WOOHOO, but that got old fast, and then I kind of just cleaned a lot? And vacuumed? It doesn't really make sense to me either.

In fandom news, corporations are ruining everything, geez. ( Viacom is suing youtube, blah )

(As an aside on the subject of fanvids, which also got taken off youtube, why do corporations want to get rid of fanvids? It doesn't make sense. This was brought home to me even more clearly lately, because NBC has started making Office promos that look exactly like fanvids, and putting them up on Youtube themselves. Which is pretty bright of them - but for real, with vids, you basically have fans making promos for TV shows FOR FREE, and other fans watching them BECAUSE THEY ENJOY THEM, and recruiting people to the shows through them. Corporations should WISH they had commercials that good - why would they want to put a stop to that? [These questions are rhetorical.])

Ugh, also, TWoP got bought by NBC - which. Well. The Office is on NBC. And the fic thread on TWoP, for better or for worse, is a major center of the fandom -- and, incidentally, like the second or third most popular thread in the forum overall. How is NBC going to deal with that? Isn't it hard to benignly neglect its existence when you own the site that it's all over? Auuuugh.

I have been ridiculously busy lately, BUT I have a few drive-by things!

I had an excellent birthday, made even more excellent by kyrafic writing me my hardly-ever-written OT3, Stephen Colbert/Amy Sedaris/Paul Dinello - Farmers and Ghosts (Strangers with Candy RPF). It is SO GOOD YOU GUYS. Friendship fic that makes me so so so happy - their whole ridiculously long friendship, and Second City, and uh, I kind of love to an embarrassing degree, like, more than anything ever written. GO READ IT.

(Also, before that she wrote Shawn/Gus Psych fic, Nine True Facts About Gus and Shawn, Detectives/Boyfriends, that IS GRATE.)

I keep wanting to make an actual post about teevee, but I have 30 things I have to do right this second, SO INSTEAD. Two sentences about each of my shows:

( How I Met Your Mother )

( SVU )

( The Office )

( The Colbert Report )

( Speaking of Colbert, here is my favorite picture ever taken in the history of time: )

OKAY, I HAVE TO GO, FOR REALSIES.

I don't know how this happened. There were LJ comments? And things got out of hand? And 6500 words of what is basically curtainfic later, here we are.

Title: The Funny Thing About Destiny
Fandom: The Office/How I Met Your Mother
Pairing: Jim Halpert/Ted Mosby
Rating: PG-13
Length: 6500 words
Summary: Jim and Ted get married and have babies? I'm not kidding.
AN: This fic is for torchthisnow, who instigated it and who now owes me some Lily/Ted. Thanks to kyrafic for the read through.

( The fourth weekend in a row that Jim came into the city to hang out was the one when things started to change. )