look to the pasta

Title: The Thing About Youth Culture
Fandom: Parks and Recreation
Pairing: Ben Wyatt/April Ludgate/Andy Dwyer
Rating: NC-17
Length: 4875 words
Summary: Leslie dumps Ben to run for City Council and April and Andy cheer him up.
Author's Notes: Written for nbckink, for the prompt, "Ben/April/Andy, double penetration." Soooooo yeah.

( ** )

You guys, some glorious person started an NBC kink meme, nbckink -- the first post is up here. There are tons of amazing Parks prompts, along with other NBC shows like Community and 30 Rock and, hilariously, SVU (plus older stuff like Friends and Seinfeld!). You should all go there and write stuff, especially rare Parks pairings, because there are some GREAT prompts for things like Ben/April (which is a ship I am really into, but I didn't think anybody else would be) and Ron/Leslie and Ben/Chris and April/Ann, as well as the expected million for Ben/Leslie (which would also be great to fill!). PLUS there are some really good SNL prompts, which is good because my lady boner for Amy Poehler is getting out of control and I ship all the Weekend Update anchors with each other way hard.

Basically, an NBC kink meme is all my small fandom dreams, though it is really making me wish that Happy Endings (you guys are watching this, right? BECAUSE IT IS GREAT) and Party Down were on NBC, but what can you do.

(I've been rewatching a lot of Party Down lately because I like seeing Adam Scott make out with people, even though that show overall is pretty disappointing apart from Henry/Casey. But I REALLY WISH there was just one good fic for that pairing. Weirdly the only fic that seems to be out there for the show is a couple of Roman fics on AO3, which is disturbing because that dude is maybe the skeeviest character I've ever seen. Like, there are a lot of morally gray characters on television, but Roman is one that I am absolutely sure would, if he thought he could get away with it, rape you and not give it a second thought. The show treating him like he's skeevy but mostly harmless is really disturbing to me, because he is clearly NOT AT ALL HARMLESS. But whatever. Thanks for ruining Bill Haverchuck for me, though, Party Down!)

My computer's trackpad broke over the weekend, so I had to take it in, and now I'm stuck using my old laptop, which at least still works but is comically huge. I feel like Dwight: This is humongous. I am not a security threat. And my middle name is Kurt, not Fart.

Thursday night TV what I watched! Which means stuff that aired before Parks, because after Parks I am pretty busy... watching Parks over and over again.

( Community )

( The Office )

( Parks and Rec )

( Non TV talk, stupid fic needs I hate having )

OKAY I AM BEING A HUGE NERD, but I got super interested in the stats on FSCMM re: ladies and characters of color and LGBT characters, especially regarding this year versus previous years, AND I NEED YOUR HELP. I-I am probably going to post some thorough stats later, but right now I just need to know if I'm missing any CoC or LGBT characters for the shows I don't watch, since occasionally the first is easy to miss (lol once I saw someone talking about Ann from Parks as a white girl and I was like, DUDE, RASHIDA'S DAD IS QUINCY JONES, SHE IS BIRACIAL, GET A CLUE), and the second one obviously cannot be told from an imdb picture.

( List of characters and ones I've identified as belonging to those categories )

I keep meaning to make a big post about how Parks and Recreation is the best thing happening to my TV every week, isn't it great, you guys, I watch every episode at least six times, etc, but then I always get really lazy and... don't. Instead, will you accept this Ben/Leslie fanfiction co-written with tearupthesky?

Title: The Art of Looking for Trouble
Authors: tearupthesky and annakovsky
Fandom: Parks and Recreation
Pairing: Leslie Knope/Ben Wyatt
Rating: NC-17
Length: 10,663 words
Author's Notes: Takes place during 3x01, "Go Big or Go Home."
Summary: This chart comes in handy so much, she doesn't know why everyone complains about it all the time.

( Ann leaves the Bulge right after Chris does, looking all bummed out that their plan crashed and burned like that. )

You guys, I got THREE (3) full-length Ron/April Parks & Recreation fics for Yuletide! THREE AMAZING TROPE FICS JUST LIKE I ASKED FOR!! What Christmas miracle is this?? By far my most amazing yuletide ever, gift-wise, and SO UNEXPECTED, I was completely freaking out. ALSO, dear flist, I am giving all of you the side-eye, because my requests did not go out on the pinch hit list and I didn't link my letter in the Yuletide letter post until, like, the night before, SO. I KNOW TWO OF YOU AWESOME PEOPLE MUST BE THE CULPRITS. I HAVE HEARTS IN MY EYES FOR WHOEVER YOU ARE.

Man, I was even more excited too because I wanted Ron/April SO BADLY, the most out of all of my requests, and I thought that no one would ever want to write it because it's such a weird pairing, but apparently that pairing is a powderkeg just waiting to happen? Because ahaha, between me and tearupthesky, who both requested it, there are FOUR Ron/April stories in Yuletide, which is a full half of the Parks stories posted. You're welcome, fandom. You're welcome.

Anyway, you should go read them, they are so fantastic!

Howling From The Vaults: This is one where Ron and April rock FIVE cliches -- telepathy! bachelor auction! zombies! A Groundhogs Day AU that I wish was novel length, it's so amazing! Super hilarious and super in character and I am in loooooooooooove.

PLUS TWO BONUS FICS:

Working to Get Fired: Derek breaks up with April and Ron sees her crying and in revenge she signs him up to go to the Pawnee Mayor's Gala at $175 a ticket with two vegetarian kosher meals. He makes her go with him as her punishment. LOLS FOR DAYS. Fancy ball! Awesome and in character! I WISH THIS FIC WENT ON FOREVER.

She Thinks She's the Dispassionate One: That's right, I got not one, but TWO Government Ball fics!!! WHAT BRAVE NEW WORLD THAT HAS SUCH FANFICTION IN IT. The April voice in this one is fantastic, all detached and awesome, and there is sexy sexy sex and great Ron and it's just awesome all around.

(And if you're into Ron/April at all, you should also read the other one in yuletide, Ron and April and Zombies, which is just what it says on the tin and is SO FANTASTIC. Super in character and funny and let's face it, in a zombie apocalypse you would want Ron Swanson on your side. He and Dwight Schrute have got to be, like, the top two apocalypse-ready characters on television.)

And I hope everyone who celebrates it had a great Christmas -- I had a really amazing one with my family, even though I'm super exhausted now from all the stuff we did, haha. Rockstar!bro and his girlfriend were only here a day and a half, so that time was JAM-PACKED and I'm lucky I even managed to read these fics. I'm excited to finally be able to collapse and hit the rest of the archive!

For the record, in my head Haymitch is played by a Jeffrey Dean Morgan/Gregory House/Lewis Nixon type, but you should pick whatever sarcastic (alcoholic) 40-ish dude you want to imagine. Also the image of Katniss as party-girl is no doubt influenced by fanmade trailers on youtube that cast Effy from Skins as Katniss (which is so perfect that I am inevitably going to be really disappointed at the actual casting), so there's that.

Title: To the Victor, the Spoil
Fandom: The Hunger Games trilogy
Pairing: Katniss/Haymitch (plus references to Haymitch/Finnick, Katniss/Johanna, Katniss/Finnick)
Rating: NC-17
Length: 13,416 words
Warnings: Nothing much more disturbing than the books themselves, though to be fair that is pretty disturbing. Off-screen compulsory prostitution. Some violence. Suzanne Collins, you are quite the bundle of rainbows. Plus the big age difference of the pairing, and possibly underage sexytimes depending on where you live (Katniss is 17 in the story).
Spoilers: This goes AU at the end of the first book of the series, but includes references to backstory and characters we don't get until Catching Fire and Mockingjay.
Summary: (contains implied spoilers for the first book, highlight to read) No berries, no mockingjay, no rebellion. Katniss killed Peeta in the arena, and now she has to live with herself like every other victor.
Author's Notes: Also available all in one piece at AO3. Thanks to kyrafic for encouragement and a great beta job. Written for the Tik Tok (Ke$ha) challenge at nothing_hip. Tick tock on the clock but the party don't stop. Whoa-oh-oh-oh.

( So he's finally mentored a victor. Good for him. )

:: on to part 2 ::

So I haven't seen The Social Network and don't have too much desire to (especially now), but I saw an interview with Aaron Sorkin about it on the Colbert Report last week. Here is an excerpt:

Colbert: Can I ask you something about the ladies in it?
Sorkin: Sure. Yeah.
Colbert: Okay. You've got the opening scene which a lot of people have heard about, it's very crisp. It's Zuckerberg and his girlfriend, the one who broke his heart, that led him to make --
Sorkin: The girl who would start Facebook, yes.
Colbert: Exactly. She's super smart and she definitely gets the best of him.
Sorkin: Right.
Colbert: The other ladies in the movie don't have as much to say because they're high or drunk or BLEEPing guys in the bathroom. Why are there no other women of any substance in the movie?
Sorkin: That's a fair question. There is one other woman, Rashida Jones who plays a young lawyer in the deposition room --
Colbert: That's true, that's true, I apologize, she does not do anything in the bathroom.
Sorkin: She's a trustworthy character, she's a stand-in for the audience. The other women are prizes, basically.
Colbert: Are women at Harvard like that? That's what I want to know.

(The interview then digresses a little bit, letting Sorkin give a super misogynistic example when asked about the actual website Facebook, and then Sorkin goes on to reiterate that it's just that in this particular story, women function as prizes, with no indication that he sees that as any kind of problem.)

So let that be a lesson to you, ladies. You might get into Harvard with your "brains" and your "talent", but that doesn't make you any less of a prop. Maybe you should've been an asshole who did something so important to humanity as ~*~FACEBOOK~*~ if you wanted anyone to treat you like a human being.

I am both super impressed with Colbert, an actual male human, for noticing that this is problematic and having the balls to ask about it, when no other review I've read has mentioned it, and super unsurprised that Aaron Sorkin sees no issue with treating half of the human race as slutty furniture.

Augh, you guys, I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off for the past week or so (posting JBBB! Immediately leaving town for an awesome weekend of seeing the Jonas Brothers with tearupthesky! Leaving immediately from said weekend to head to Canada! I'm in a hotel in the middle of nowhere, Wisconsin right now!)

Um, anyway, so yeah, this is just to say that I'm going to be in the backwoods until August 26 or so and won't have any internet access or... basically any access to anything at all beyond text message. (So... text me if you feel like it!) So that's why I'm not replying to feedback or leaving feedback on the, like, 30 fics I want to right now. (I have put a bunch on my Kindle to read while I'm away, though! I'm pretty excited!)

Anyway, I'll miss you! And I will leave you with this anecdote from the concert last night: We were standing in the parking lot watching the line of children and parents going into the venue when I saw a middle-aged mom wearing a homemade t-shirt. The front said "TEAM JONAS" and then she turned around and the back said "They made me come."

o.O I nearly had a heart attack. I was like, THERE ARE LITTLE CHILDREN EVERYWHERE, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? But then I noticed that the rest of the people with her were also wearing homemade shirts, all of which said "Team Jonas" on the front, and the little kids' shirts said things on the back like "I <3 Nick" and the other mom's shirt said "I'm just the ride" on the back. So I assume this lady's shirt meant "MY CHILDREN made me ATTEND." BUT OH MY GOD, POOR PLANNING ON YOUR PART, LADY, THAT ENTENDRE IS SO BAD IT'S NEARLY SINGLE. However, thank you for making me laugh for like the whole night. Good times.

AND ON THAT NOTE, SEE YOU AT THE END OF AUGUST.