annakovsky | Goodbye I'm leaving this house and this country for home.

I've been perpetually in a weird emo-ish mood lately, where I'm like a big bundle of twitchy feelings I don't know what to do with. Well, channeling them into writing fanfiction is all I really know to do with my feelings anymore, but unfortunately I can't do that all day long.

It's just rough -- I've been having to tell everyone I know here that I'm moving away, and it's a big bummer, and every time I see the 83 bus I get a little pang, weirdly enough, and even though I think the move is going to be really good in the long run, right now I'm sad. Also, it's rainy and I'm listening to sad songs all the time, and I am very susceptible to the pathetic fallacy.

Anyway, here are the three songs I have on repeat right now, two of which are sad and one of which is peppiness personified, so they don't go together at ALL but I can't help it. One is Jonas Brothers, one is from the finale of Life, and one is from a Band of Brothers vid... which probably represents the headspace I'm in at pretty much all times fairly accurately.

More than Alive, Hayden
Street Light Halos, Jeffrey Foucault
Live to Party, Jonas Brothers

Also, Life got canceled and I'm bummed. :(

Also, I'm bored. I'm copyediting the world's most boring philosophical article and I can't focus at all. Someone come in here and talk to me about how Pam and Ryan should do it, or how Reese and Crews should do it, or how Nick Jonas and Lewis Nixon should do it or something.

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Don't you mean "how Pam and Ryan already totally did it"?

Leaving things suuuuuuuucks. :( I'm already tired of crying, and there's over a month to go. Ugh ugh, let's make margaritas and be awesome instead.

You mean, when Pam was in New York at art school and she ran into Ryan at this club when she was out with her friends, and he was drinking club soda and he saw her awhile before she saw him, and she was laughing and with this big group of people and looking really, really happy, and he knew it was creepy for him to just keep watching her but he couldn't stop?

Ugh, I know. Last night A. asked how long we'd been roommates except he phrased it, "How long have you two been together?" which made me laugh/cry. Haha, I don't want to get divoooooooooorced. :( WE NEED MANY MARGARITAS.

Oh goddammit, I'm going to have to go reread your Comedy of Remarriage PRONTO.

Aaaaahhhhhhhh, yes, that's what I mean. And then she runs into him at the bar and he says something mean, and she says something catty back, and then one of the girls she's out with comes up and says hey, who's your friend, Pam?, there's room for him to come sit with us, and Pam tries to say no, but it's too late, he's in. He gets Sarah to invite him to everything, and he's always around, and he's always looking at her, and sometimes they take cabs home together, and slide against each other in the backseat when it takes sharp turns, and she says, get off me, but she doesn't sound like she means it?

This is the worst divorce since Ted and Marshall. Lorelai and Rory. Monica and Rachel. :(

Auuuuuuugh sliding into each other in the cab. And he likes hanging out with all Pam's friends, because first of all, none of his old friends are speaking to him since he went to jail, and second of all, being pretend-mean to Pam is fun, since she always says something mean back. And maybe one time, he's there when Pam drunk-dials Jim and leaves him a seven minute message on his work phone, and Ryan's yelling, "Pam, get off the PHONE," in the background, and when Jim hears it he's like "..." and then calls Pam back and is like, uh, was that RYAN there? And Pam's like, uh, did I not tell you that Sarah keeps inviting him to things? I could've sworn I had. Even though she knows perfectly well that she didn't. And then they get in this huge passive-aggressive fight about it, and Jim finally hangs up on her, and so when Ryan comes by because he "accidentally" bought two cannolis and doesn't want to eat both, he finds Pam crying. Which makes him really uncomfortable on the one hand, but when he finds out it's because of Jim, he feels weirdly smug?

Joey and Chandler. Turk and JD. John Lennon and Paul McCartney. :( :( :(

(hey i'm really enjoying this pam/ryan fic i'm reading here, just thought i'd mention that)

Hahaha, SHE HAS LEFT ME HANGING NOW.

Goodbye I'm leaving this house and this country for home.

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Be whatever you like, Pam, you're my redhead.

Re: Be whatever you like, Pam, you're my redhead.

Re: Be whatever you like, Pam, you're my redhead.

Re: Be whatever you like, Pam, you're my redhead.

Re: Be whatever you like, Pam, you're my redhead.