yeah yeah yeah

[annakovsky]

(Written to these specifications)

"What the FUCK is that?" Kovsky said, looking at the plastic... dildo thing Elijah was holding. "Is that what I think it is?"

Elijah shrugged. "Probably. I think Viggo left it here."

Don't ask, don't ask, don't ask, don't ask, Kovsky thought to herself. "Well, we are not using THAT in any way, unless you want to come to a bloody and sudden end, so don't get your hopes up. Even if you do look kind of cute and indie right now, instead of like a wombat."

"Um, thanks," Elijah said.

Kovsky rolled her eyes. "Let's get this over with. I want my presents."

"If you're sleeping with me for presents, what does that make you?" Elijah asked.

"A whore," Kovsky said. "I'm not ashamed. C'mon, let's get the rating up already. Cock, cunt, ass, thrust, etc."

"Way to put the romance in," Elijah said.

"Don't be disgusting," Kovsky said. "C'mon, give it to me." She took off her clothes, and they did it. Hard. With cock and cunt and thrusting and the like. There were blowjobs, even, maybe, if you like that kind of thing and if it helps make this NC-17.

Afterwards, Elijah snuggled up to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. Kovsky would have kicked him, but she was already asleep.

Comments

[aliaspiral.livejournal.com]

*falls over laughing*

i think this is my favorite thing from your birthday hell celebration.

happy birthday anyway!

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

Hee! Well, thank you. It's been... something. :-)

[swmbo.livejournal.com]

OH GOD I THINK I BROKE SOMETHING!!

I am laughing so hard that I'm literally sobbing, this is so funny. You are the best. The best sport ever and seriously - you get every prize there is. And THIS is a classic and is going into my memories.

"Don't be disgusting," Kovsky said. "C'mon, give it to me." She took off her clothes, and they did it. Hard. With cock and cunt and thrusting and the like. There were blowjobs, even, maybe, if you like that kind of thing and if it helps make this NC-17.


And romance so DOES equal disgusting!!

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHA!

*wins*

[swmbo.livejournal.com]

You do win. You win everything in the entire world - congrats on being so awesome and doing EIGHT HOURS of this with us. You are, always and forever, the best Kovsky ever made.

[flowery-twat.livejournal.com]

oh, bunny...

You are so brave and stalwart and true. And also rather tricksy. YOU WIN!!!

here's your prize

*collapses into twitching heap*

[swmbo.livejournal.com]

Heee!!! *pets you* *tucks you into bed*

I luff you, too - and you are SUCH a superstar.

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

EIGHT HOURS! A BODY GETS TOO TIRED TO WRITE REAL PORN ABOUT ONESELF AND A WOMBAT!

*LOVES YOU ALL UP*

[flowery-twat.livejournal.com]

Cause if you weren't tired from 8 hours of jumping through ridiculous hoops, you'd have written something hot and beautiful and believable?!?!?!

Heeeeeee!

*loves you to bits*

Sweet dreams, Birthday Girl.

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

Yes, exactly! Do you doubt that?!?!?!

*loves you all up*

THANK YOU FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!!!! I LUFF YOU!!!

[ros-fod.livejournal.com]

You, my dear, are a ROCKSTAR.

Congrats for the bestest, funnest birthday/humiliation party ever.

*tucks the blankets around you*

[spicedrum.livejournal.com]

There were blowjobs, even, maybe, if you like that kind of thing and if it helps make this NC-17.

omg I SNORTED when I read that


You truly are a golden god.

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha, thank you.

[snarkhunter.livejournal.com]

C'mon, let's get the rating up already. Cock, cunt, ass, thrust, etc.

::weeping::

She took off her clothes, and they did it. Hard. With cock and cunt and thrusting and the like. There were blowjobs, even, maybe, if you like that kind of thing and if it helps make this NC-17.

Best. Pr0n. Ever.

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

HEE! Why thank you!

[bear.livejournal.com]

Today has BROKEN ME.

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

ME TOO OMG

[darling-effect.livejournal.com]

::cries one perfect, crystal tear::
That was the most beautiful thing ever written. EVER. Proust has nothing on this! Fuck the fucking madeleine!

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

Hahahahahahahahaha! Thank you. I will be expecting my Pulitzer any time.

[darling-effect.livejournal.com]

And possibly the Nobel Peace Prize, just because!

[elucidate-this.livejournal.com]

heee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

hahaha, yeah, you weren't the one who had to sleep with Elijah Wood! ICK.

[anniesj.livejournal.com]

*pets you soothingly*

My poor, poor Kovsky. Your birthday hurts so good. :)

*snickers*

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

Hahahahahahaha, SHUT UP. You are the only one I still love, as you gave me things with no requirements. All the rest of them seem to think that I am a hobbit and so THEY should get presents on MY birthday!

[ros-fod.livejournal.com]

*dies a thousand times*

Oh, god, Kovsky. That was funny and - I'm not ashamed to say it - totally hot. Rooowwwwrrrrrrrr. I'm going to be over here, thinking about Elijah giving it to you hard.

And heeee!
Kovsky would have kicked him, but she was already asleep.

I love you because you are my stone cold bitch soulmate.

*LOVES*

Yayayayayayay you are the best sport ever!

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You are a sick, sick, sick bastard. And that's why I love you.

We should have icons that say "stone cold bitch soulmates".

*loves all over you*

[moireach.livejournal.com]

THE BEAUTY OF YOUR PROSE HAS OVERWHELMED ME WITH ARTISTIC INSPIRATION.

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!! YOU ROCK! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

*uploads*

[7spoons.livejournal.com]

Heeeeeee. *wants*

Kovsky, you are the best sport EVER.

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

Hee! I am so magnanimous you can SHARE them! Bring the horror of wombat lovin' to your own flist! <3 <3

[moireach.livejournal.com]

Heeeeeeee, bestest use of the default icon space evar! ;)

[ros-fod.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. *steals the third one*

So awesome omg.

[moireach.livejournal.com]

Heeeee, Kovsky's epic love story must be spread throughout the world!

[swmbo.livejournal.com]

OH GOD!

Will end up taking, oh yes, you are officially beyond awesome.

[fitofpique.livejournal.com]

Elijah/Kovksy OHHH TEEE PEEEE! You are brilliant! And you would totally kick Wee if you weren't asleep! I know it :D

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

Hee! I kick him right now!!! Hahahahahaha.

I almost wrote a whole bit about how I'd rather sleep with his sister, but then Elwood said, "Well, I'd rather sleep with my sister too" and it was a whole thing. HA.

[fitofpique.livejournal.com]

I'm sure you could write a novel-length fic about that! Oh well, maybe another day.

Heeeee.

*kicks Wee*

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

Hee, exactly, it was getting way late to get into that subplot. Maybe for Ros's birthday I'll finish that part, since apparently she gets off on the idea of me and Wombat together. <3

[luvs-phoenix.livejournal.com]

Best story eva although the "draw your own raccoon" art works for me to.

Happy Birthday!!

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

Hee, thank you so much!

[witling.livejournal.com]

God, this is beautiful.

I love Kov's birthday. It should be a national holiday. Or a federal case. I'm not sure which.

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

Heeeeeeee. That about sums it up. And thanks. I think.

*is shamed by birthday humiliations*

I do like the icons it has inspired. :-)

[reginaspina.livejournal.com]

"A whore," Kovsky said. "I'm not ashamed. C'mon, let's get the rating up already. Cock, cunt, ass, thrust, etc."

This is, to coin a phrase, a hearbreaking work of staggering GENIUS ;)

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha, thank you. :-)

[munin.livejournal.com]

This is my favorite thing you've ever written. Ever.

Of course it could be because I worked last night and I've only had like a few hours of sleep so I'm in that state where I giggle hysterically at the Dairy Queen commercial with the WWF wrestlers (if you don't have it where you are don't ask, seriously.) But I prefer to think it's because this is an incredibly well crafted piece of fiction worthy of numerous awards and accolades.

Or something.

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

Heeeeeeeeeeee. Thanks. I about died laughing myself, but the exhaustion might've done it to me too. :-)

[ruidoso.livejournal.com]

the mystery of those wacky icons, finally explained.

this was really REALLY fucking hilarious.

thanks for being born and for having such kick-ass friends! :)

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

Heh. Thank you. And my pleasure. :-)