This is my favorite thing you've ever written. Ever.

Of course it could be because I worked last night and I've only had like a few hours of sleep so I'm in that state where I giggle hysterically at the Dairy Queen commercial with the WWF wrestlers (if you don't have it where you are don't ask, seriously.) But I prefer to think it's because this is an incredibly well crafted piece of fiction worthy of numerous awards and accolades.

Or something.