I hate myself and all my friends.

[annakovsky]

Title: You Always Hurt the One You Love
Pairing: Simon Cowell/Paula Abdul
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Paula decides she's going to shut Simon up once and for all.
Word count: 100

Sometimes Paula wonders what Simon would've said to her, back when her career was starting out. Bad intonation, too much dancing, too fat? Sometimes she wants to punch him when he starts in on some poor girl, punch him right in the mouth.

Other times she wants him to do something else with that mouth of his. She pushes him down her body and lets him write his brutality into her skin. His tongue works at her nipples as thoroughly as if it were cutting down a 20-something's self-esteem, and thrusts inside her with the force of disapproval. She screams.

Comments

[lildhampir.livejournal.com]

Mwuaahaha. Dude you pulled this off. *is in awe*

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

Hahahahaha, I so did not.

*is traumatized FOREVER*

[bear.livejournal.com]

*sniff* Kovsky, that's the most beautiful story I've ever read. Like, ever ever.

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I spent a lot of time on it.

[swmbo.livejournal.com]

I love you.

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

YOU BETTER.

[elucidate-this.livejournal.com]

that was strangely hot.

and i want to bleach my brain for even thinking that.

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

Hahahahaha, GROSS, never say that again. :-)

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Are you sure these people are your friends? ;) I hope they give you extra super special presents!

[swmbo.livejournal.com]

!!

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Okay, it could have been more evil. It could have been Simon/raccoon.

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

I am beginning to have my doubts. But the presents have been pretty awesome!

[fitofpique.livejournal.com]

That is just ... perfection itself.

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

Well, their love IS so pure.

[ros-fod.livejournal.com]

UGH.

*gags*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. *points and laughs*

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

I KNOW!!!!!!!

At least you didn't have to WRITE it. I threw up a little in my mouth.

[ratphooey.livejournal.com]

You didn't!

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

I would recommend NOT EVER READING THIS EVER.

[ratphooey.livejournal.com]

Very sound advice.

[flowery-twat.livejournal.com]

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Well done, little one! I *knew* you could do it.

You want your prezzie now? I bet you do.

Here you go:
ENJOY!!!

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

I will never forgive you for this, I hope you know.

<333333333

[flowery-twat.livejournal.com]

I know. I'm counting on it.

*beams proudly*

BFF, right?

[7spoons.livejournal.com]

Heeeeeeeeeeee. You are awesome. I'd say, welcome back from your nice, peaceful reflective weekend, except that's all been shot to hell. We love you, Kovsky! Honestly!

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

*LOSES ALL PEACE AND COMPOSURE AND GODLINESS*

Yeah, I come back from a monastery and people make me write PAULA/SIMON PORN! SO GROSS OMG!

*loves you all anyway*

Gah! My eyes!

[darling-effect.livejournal.com]

It's looking like the end of Once Upon A Time In Mexico over here at the D_E household. I'm fumbling around for a spork, just for good measure. You can't be too careful!

[honorh.livejournal.com]

Okay, that's just scary. I think I hate your friends, too.

[swmbo.livejournal.com]

You love us!!

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

THEY ARE SO MEAN AND I AM SO TRAUMATIZED!!!

*clings*

[snarkhunter.livejournal.com]

That's...that's just WRONG!

I am dying of the wrong. Well, okay, I'm dying of laughter, but still.

[circe-tigana.livejournal.com]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

well, at least miggy will love you after we've all run screaming for the hills.

[spicedrum.livejournal.com]

and thrusts inside her with the force of disapproval.

I can't decide if that's the most hysterical thing I've ever read or the hottest. I'm going to go with the former because it would be too disturbing otherwise.

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

[annakovsky.livejournal.com]

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I'm glad you, um, liked it? Ha!

*is traumatized FOREVER*