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annakovsky) wrote2005-06-22 11:33 pm
annakovsky) wrote2005-06-22 11:33 pm
Entry tags:
Accidental Cuts
More SVU fic. For ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sloanesomething, as always. Takes place during the eps "Victims" and "Paranoia", in which Elliot got exposed to HIV (cut his hand, then got a HIV positive victim's blood all over him).
***
The cut on Elliot's hand stings. Olivia keeps looking at him out of the corner of her eye. The anti-retroviral medication rattles in his pocket.
He isn't worried. He isn't worried. He isn't worried.
**
Olivia buys him a beer, like that's going to make things better. It almost does.
"I'm sure the bandage kept the blood from…," she starts.
"Yeah," he says.
They are halfway through their second round when Elliot says, "I've gotta tell Kathy."
She looks at him for a long moment. "Yeah." After a second, she touches his arm, fingers hot through his shirt sleeve. "Elliot, it's going to be okay."
His throat feels thick, and he nods and looks away.
He tells Kathy when he gets home, sits her down at the kitchen table. The kids are in bed. She twists her wedding ring around her finger, first one way, then the other.
"Kathy, it's going to be okay," he says.
She nods without looking up.
They lie in bed later, not touching, Kathy's breathing slow and even, and he can't sleep. He is thinking about being the father in the neighborhood with AIDS, about not making love to Kathy anymore, about medication and hospitals and living under a death sentence. It's nearly four before he starts to drift off, and in that space where he's not quite asleep and not quite awake, he thinks, "I will never get to kiss Olivia," and that makes him feel worst of all.
When he wakes up and remembers, he thinks that having had the thought should surprise him, but it doesn't.
***
The medication makes him throw up for weeks, and they pretend that this is normal, that it's not worth mentioning. Olivia drives, brings him coffee. Rubs his back, once. He tries not to think about that, her hand moving in little circles on the small of his back.
He calls in for the test reports every day for a week, but they're never ready. Olivia watches him, leaning back in her chair, and when he slams down the phone, she always says, "Nothing?" and he says, "No," and then she has a lead ready for them to follow, to take his mind off it.
He finally gets the results early in the morning, before work. They're all clean. Kathy hugs him and cries, offers to make him breakfast. He tells her he has to go in early. He doesn't know why. Instead he gets scrambled eggs at his usual place, and when Olivia comes and finds him, he pretends to be surprised.
**
He thinks about kissing her.
**
That night, they come back late from canvassing, and the squadroom is dark. She sighs and goes to her locker, rubbing the back of her neck. He follows her.
"Call it a night?" he says, leaning against the cool metal. Long day.
"Yeah," she says, putting her gun away, and looks over at him. "How're you feeling?"
He smiles, can't help smiling. "Alive."
She grins, and they look at each other, and he can feel his heart beating. He's already leaning in before he realizes he's going to, and it only takes a second before she kisses him back. Her hand comes up to rest on the side of his neck, and her thumb rubs gently back and forth. Her lips are warm and dry.
He pulls back just enough to speak, their foreheads pressed together, and says, "I was afraid I'd never get to do that." She kisses him again without saying anything, and when her tongue slides into his mouth he makes a noise in the back of his throat and pulls her hips towards him.
It isn't long enough before she pulls away, her lips red and her eyes dark and closed off. She doesn't look at him. "You should go home."
"So?" he says, and reaches for her.
She steps back. "Elliot."
He lets his arm fall back to his side. "Yeah," he says. "I know."
He watches as she walks away, and leans against the lockers until he feels a little more steady.
**
END
sloanesomething, as always. Takes place during the eps "Victims" and "Paranoia", in which Elliot got exposed to HIV (cut his hand, then got a HIV positive victim's blood all over him). ***
The cut on Elliot's hand stings. Olivia keeps looking at him out of the corner of her eye. The anti-retroviral medication rattles in his pocket.
He isn't worried. He isn't worried. He isn't worried.
**
Olivia buys him a beer, like that's going to make things better. It almost does.
"I'm sure the bandage kept the blood from…," she starts.
"Yeah," he says.
They are halfway through their second round when Elliot says, "I've gotta tell Kathy."
She looks at him for a long moment. "Yeah." After a second, she touches his arm, fingers hot through his shirt sleeve. "Elliot, it's going to be okay."
His throat feels thick, and he nods and looks away.
He tells Kathy when he gets home, sits her down at the kitchen table. The kids are in bed. She twists her wedding ring around her finger, first one way, then the other.
"Kathy, it's going to be okay," he says.
She nods without looking up.
They lie in bed later, not touching, Kathy's breathing slow and even, and he can't sleep. He is thinking about being the father in the neighborhood with AIDS, about not making love to Kathy anymore, about medication and hospitals and living under a death sentence. It's nearly four before he starts to drift off, and in that space where he's not quite asleep and not quite awake, he thinks, "I will never get to kiss Olivia," and that makes him feel worst of all.
When he wakes up and remembers, he thinks that having had the thought should surprise him, but it doesn't.
***
The medication makes him throw up for weeks, and they pretend that this is normal, that it's not worth mentioning. Olivia drives, brings him coffee. Rubs his back, once. He tries not to think about that, her hand moving in little circles on the small of his back.
He calls in for the test reports every day for a week, but they're never ready. Olivia watches him, leaning back in her chair, and when he slams down the phone, she always says, "Nothing?" and he says, "No," and then she has a lead ready for them to follow, to take his mind off it.
He finally gets the results early in the morning, before work. They're all clean. Kathy hugs him and cries, offers to make him breakfast. He tells her he has to go in early. He doesn't know why. Instead he gets scrambled eggs at his usual place, and when Olivia comes and finds him, he pretends to be surprised.
**
He thinks about kissing her.
**
That night, they come back late from canvassing, and the squadroom is dark. She sighs and goes to her locker, rubbing the back of her neck. He follows her.
"Call it a night?" he says, leaning against the cool metal. Long day.
"Yeah," she says, putting her gun away, and looks over at him. "How're you feeling?"
He smiles, can't help smiling. "Alive."
She grins, and they look at each other, and he can feel his heart beating. He's already leaning in before he realizes he's going to, and it only takes a second before she kisses him back. Her hand comes up to rest on the side of his neck, and her thumb rubs gently back and forth. Her lips are warm and dry.
He pulls back just enough to speak, their foreheads pressed together, and says, "I was afraid I'd never get to do that." She kisses him again without saying anything, and when her tongue slides into his mouth he makes a noise in the back of his throat and pulls her hips towards him.
It isn't long enough before she pulls away, her lips red and her eyes dark and closed off. She doesn't look at him. "You should go home."
"So?" he says, and reaches for her.
She steps back. "Elliot."
He lets his arm fall back to his side. "Yeah," he says. "I know."
He watches as she walks away, and leans against the lockers until he feels a little more steady.
**
END