(no subject)

[annakovsky]

sloanesomething and I have done commentary on yet another SVU AU, this time the skateboarding AU. Well, we started on the pirate AU, but just couldn't. Hee.


Sloane: Welcome to another cracked-out commentary by Sloane and Kovsky! Now with better typing.
Kovsky: Really? Better typing?!? YAY
Kovsky: So this is the Pirates AU, creatively titled "SVU of the Caribbean"
Sloane: My God, Kovsky.
Sloane: Where does it come from, this well of creativity?
Kovsky: Drugs.
Kovsky: Also, I wrote almost all of this one while at an Assyriology graduate lecture.
Kovsky: Hopefully everyone thinks I just take a lot of notes.
Kovsky: With dialogue in them.
Sloane: Just like the Assyrians were so famous for having.
Sloane: a lot of dialogue.
Sloane: their "Who's in Petra?" sketch is classic.

Cragen's been hearing rumors that interest him - after having been First Mate for this long, Elliot recognizes that gleam he gets in his eye. Benson does too - she catches Elliot's glance and holds it. You see that? her look says, and he nods almost imperceptibly.

Their second day at port, Cragen wants to go ashore. "Stabler," he says. "Benson. You're coming with me. Munch, you're in charge."

Kovsky: This is so completely ridiculous I can't even.
Sloane: man.
Sloane: where to begin?
Sloane: okay, you know what
Sloane: I'm laughing too hard to do a commentary on this.
Sloane: it's so awesomely hysterical.
Kovsky: hahahahahahaha
Kovsky: I know, me too
Sloane: "what made you decide on Munch as the bosun?"
Sloane: "...because they're PIRATES."
Kovsky: HAHAHA
Kovsky: skate instead?
Sloane: yes.
Sloane: please.
Kovsky: cool.

How Olivia Became a Cop and Also Fucked Elliot a Bunch of Times

Kovsky: So this title cracks me up, but is in no way descriptive of this AU.
Sloane: which is what makes it so brilliant.
Sloane: administratively.
Kovsky: Like, I wrote it, but when I'm looking for the skateboarding AU in memories I sometimes can't find it.
Sloane: that's a sad state of affairs, kovsky.

She and Fin sit in the sunshine and watch the competition, her skateboard propped against the bench, his under one of his feet. He rolls it back and forth idly.

"Georgie's good this year," he says, squinting against the sun.

"Yeah," Olivia says. "But you're better."

Fin smiles a little, still watching Georgie skate. "Maybe."

Sloane: love that she has her skateboard off someplace and he isn't going to let it out of his immediate gravity bubble.
Sloane: instant indicator of the difference in their dedication.
Kovsky: I still can't really picture Benson as a skater, regardless of this AU.
Kovsky: I picture her as, like, in that ep when she goes undercover at the rave
Kovsky: and then I laugh and laugh.
Sloane: NEVER PICTURE HER LIKE THAT.
Sloane: picture her like season one
Sloane: with the tank top on.
Sloane: the tank top and the baggy pants and the big gun.
Kovsky: ... and suddenly there it is.
Sloane: i never figured her for a skater with all the emo bling on.
Sloane: just, jeans and a tank top and a big gun.
Kovsky: except when you say gun, you mean skateboard?
Sloane: or, elliot's penis.
Sloane: but skateboard's good for now.
Sloane: keep the suspense going.
Kovsky: Yeah, like there's any question as to what's going to happen in any of these AUs.

"How many more until you're up?"

"Three," Fin says, and glances around. "Wanna have a joint first, but fucking cops are everywhere."

Olivia follows his gaze to a uniform standing by the concession stand, then does a double take.

"What?" Fin says.

"I think I know that cop," Olivia says, staring at the guy. He's built like a quarterback, and looks like he's not thrilled to be working security at a skate park.

Fin laughs. "You got cop friends now?"

Sloane: for the record
Sloane: i have absolutely no trouble picturing fin as a pot-smoking skateboarder
Sloane: right until the day he walked into svu
Sloane: and then they made him trade in his skateboard for a suit with a vest.
Kovsky: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Kovsky: That's because Fin is cool.
Kovsky: Elliot, on the other hand, I didn't even bother to make a skateboarder. The man is a cop. The end.
Sloane: he truly is.
Sloane: even as a pirate he's a cop.
Sloane: bless his predestined heart.

"No," she says, still looking. She brushes her hair out of her eyes. "I think we went to high school together."

"Yeah?" Fin says, and looks at the cop appraisingly. "So I should be jealous?"

She gives him an amused look. "Right. Me and cops totally do it, all the time."

"Hey, baby, I don't know," he says, and he's holding back a smile. He drapes an arm over her shoulder.

She looks back at the cop one last time. "Anyway, I heard he knocked up his girlfriend and then married her or something."

"Good times," Fin says, and they watch the skating some more.

**

Kovsky: I kind of love Olivia and Fin sometimes.
Kovsky: er, I love them together sometimes. I love them separately all the time.
Sloane: i really really love their pairing.
Sloane: i'll admit it.
Sloane: especially in something like this
Sloane: where they all know it's not One True Love
Sloane: but they're having a blast
Sloane: also, love that she's always sarcastic
Sloane: and he's always a little sincere.
Kovsky: It was also weird to write them being, like, 20 years old.
Kovsky: To try to keep things in their voices but also be younger.
Sloane: how so?
Sloane: that's such a james lipton question.
Sloane: my bust.
Kovsky: Yeah, I don't even know how to answer that. It was just hard to think what they might've been like 20 years ago. If they were skateboarders.
Kovsky: Also, apparently both you and I independently say, "Good times" a lot. AND SO DOES FIN.
Kovsky: that's because we are awesome.

Only one guy left before Fin's up, so he goes to get ready, skateboard dangling from his hand. When he looks back, she blows him a kiss and he smiles and swaggers a little as he walks away.

She goes up to the concession stand to get a Coke, and the cop she recognized is leaning beside the window looking bored. She searches her memory for his name. When she glances over, he's squinting at her.

"Do I know you?" he says.

She takes her Coke and smiles. "Uh, yeah, I think so. You went to Our Lady of Peace, right?"

"Yeah," he says slowly and nods, recognizing her. "Didn't we have Spanish together?"

"With Senora Weber, yeah. You're Elliot, right?"

"Yeah. Olivia?"

"Yeah. Been awhile," she says.

He smiles. "No kidding. So you skateboard, huh?"

"Yeah, some."

"You any good?"

"Not really," she says. "My boyfriend is, though. He's next." Elliot nods and they both look over to watch Fin as he starts skating, down the half-pipe.

Sloane: I LOVE that they are already cutting the bullshit.
Sloane: she's not even going to TRY it with him.
Kovsky: Totally.
Kovsky: Other than that, this conversation is extraordinarily boring.
Sloane: not true.
Sloane: he remembers her from spanish class.
Sloane: that's eight years ago?
Sloane: that's a fucking huge detail, buddy.
Kovsky: I think I remember most people who were in my Spanish class 8 years ago, though.
Kovsky: At least, the hot ones.
Sloane: interesting.
Sloane: i don't remember people i met 8 days ago.
Sloane: this is why i'm not a cop
Sloane: and also why i find that detail really really significant.
Kovsky: Well. Clearly they were in love EVEN BACK THEN WHEN THEY DIDN'T KNOW IT YET.
Kovsky: OTP OTP OTP OTP OTP
Sloane: HELL FUCKING YES
Sloane: I AM MAKING AN ICON WITH A BIG PINK HEART ON IT
Sloane: RIGHT NOW
Sloane: THAT IS HOW OTP THEY ARE
Kovsky: HAWT

"He's good," Elliot says after a few minutes. She mmms an assent.

"So you're a cop," she says a few minutes later, still watching Fin. "That's, uh... adult of you."

He makes an amused noise. "Gotta support the family."

"Yeah, I heard you married...."

"Kathy," he supplies.

"Right, yeah. And had a baby?"

"Yeah," he says.

"What's *that* like?" she asks, and doesn't mean to sound as dubious as she does.

"Tiring, mostly," he says.

"I bet."

Sloane: ...administratively.
Kovsky: Did you just say that his baby was tiring ADMINISTRATIVELY? Because dude.
Sloane: no.
Sloane: i referenced only the fact tha the's tired.
Sloane: ...administratively.
Kovsky: uh huh.
Sloane: i'm a pervert, but i'm not a monster.
Kovsky: haha, okay.

They watch in silence until Fin finishes.

"Well, I better go find him," Olivia says as Fin gets his marks. "Good to see you again."

"Yeah," Elliot says. As she starts to walk away, he calls after her, "You here tomorrow?" It's a three day festival.

"Yeah," she says.

"Maybe I'll see you around, then," Elliot says, and she grins.

"Maybe."

**

Sloane: ADMINISTRATIVELY.
Sloane: THERE IS WHERE IT SHOULD HAVE GONE
Sloane: OKAY?
Kovsky: Thank you.
Sloane: premature administration.
Sloane: always embarrassing.

Fin makes fun of her for talking to a cop, but she doesn't mind. She was just being polite, and the next day when Fin's off talking to Mike and Jason and she sees Elliot again, it only seems polite to go say hi.

He smiles when he sees her coming. "You're back."

"'Course," she says.

"Well, good, 'cause this is the most boring job in the world."

"Not what you signed on for?"

"Not exactly," he says. "Not a lot of crime needing to be fought around here today."

"Ah, so you're Batman, huh?" she says, and he holds back a smile.

"You skating today?"

"Yeah," she says, forcing herself to be bright.

"Good luck," he says. "I'll watch for you."

She smiles and walks away and desperately hopes he doesn't.

**

Kovsky: Because she sucks
Kovsky: ... at SKATEBOARDING.
Sloane: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Sloane: now i see how it is.
Sloane: battle of the innuendo.
Sloane: i also like the realism of her sucking
Sloane: and the non-mary-sue gesture of being bad.
Sloane: ....administratively.
Kovsky: hahahahahaha

It goes as badly as she feared it would. She takes a bad fall at the beginning and never really hits a rhythm. It's not even that she's bad, she's just mediocre. Competent. Uninspired.

"Hey, don't worry about it," Fin says afterwards, as she's putting Neosporin on her skinned knees. "It wasn't that bad."

"Were you actually watching?" she says sharply. He looks at her but doesn't say anything else. Gives her some space, which is what Fin's good at. After a second it doesn't even matter because Munch, the owner of the skate park, comes up with a blond woman he introduces as Alex, head of marketing for a skate company. They want to talk to Fin about product tie-ins, about promoting, because he's that good. Olivia sticks a bandaid on her knee and tries not to notice how pretty Alex is. Fin likes blonds.

Nobody pays attention when Olivia wanders away.

Sloane: fin likes blondes.
Sloane: i agree with this even were i not a fan of fin/alex
Sloane: as it is, i TOTALLY AGREE.
Kovsky: Yeah, it totally seems like he would, though I'm not sure why.
Sloane: the vest?
Kovsky: HEE. Yeah, that's it.
Sloane: "please observe i am not a thug!"
Kovsky: also, note that I did not attempt to make Munch a skateboarder.
Sloane: THANK YOU DEAR GOD.

She's sitting on the grass with her knees pulled up to her chest, looking morosely into space, when a shadow falls over her. She looks up to see Elliot with a red cup in each hand.

"Thirsty?" he asks, and hands her one without waiting for a reply. She takes it automatically and he settles onto the ground beside her.

"Saw you skate," he says after a minute and she winces.

"Great," she says. When he doesn't say anything, she continues, "Told you I wasn't good."

He laughs. "Better than I could do. It's just for fun, anyway, right?"

She stares at him in disbelief, and he catches her look out of the corner of his eye while he takes a sip.

"What'd I say?"

Sloane: the coke gesture is half friendly and half overbearing-sexy.
Kovsky: like, "I WILL GET YOU COKE AND YOU WILL LIKE IT"?
Sloane: or like, "i thought you'd like a coke, since now you're all i can think about and i'm abandoning my job to talk to you."
Kovsky: hahahahahahahaha
Kovsky: yeah, that is hot.
Sloane: yeah
Sloane: well done, kovsky.

"It's not for fun. It's serious," she says.

He raises his eyebrows. "Okay."

"Fin's getting endorsements," she says. "It's a career."

"I see," Elliot says. "It's your career?"

"No," she says. "Because I suck."

"Okay," he says again. His tone is neutral but somehow it pisses her off.

"What?" she says irritably, and he shrugs. "Shouldn't you be off guarding the skate park from vandals or whatever?" she asks.

"I'm on break," he says, and the corners of his mouth are almost smiling.

"What's so funny?" she says, still sharp.

He shrugs again and sips his Coke. "I just wish I had your problems, is all."

Sloane: she met him thirty minutes ago
Sloane: already picking a fight.
Sloane: that's olivia.
Kovsky: Well, she's testy. She just made a fool of herself in front of everybody
Sloane: true.
Kovsky: Also, teh sex of her and Elliot is that they snap at each other a lot.
Sloane: uh, not denying it.
Sloane: i was actually praising your writing.
Sloane: but whatever,
Kovsky: hahaha, thanks

She thinks about him working to support a wife and baby at 18, and feels bad.

"Yeah, I guess," she says, and they watch the skateboarding.

After a few minutes she says, "I guess you don't get out of the house a lot, huh? With the baby and everything?"

"Me?" he says. "No."

"Well," she says. "If you wanted, we're having a party tonight. You could come." A peace offering.

He doesn't say anything for a minute, just keeps squinting into the sun, but he's smiling now. "Yeah, okay," he says finally. He sits back and his shoulder touches hers, and her stomach dips a little. Which is the stupidest thing she's ever heard.

**

Kovsky: I totally feel bad for Elliot having a wife and baby at 18. I can't even imagine.
Sloane: i agree.
Sloane: and i realy feel for kathy
Sloane: mom at 18? ugh.
Sloane: that said
Sloane: i love that he goes out of his way to touch her
Sloane: and she basically turns into a pile of horny, horny cinders.
Kovsky: hahahahahaha
Sloane: as it would for any woman.
Kovsky: it's true. also, their love cannot be denied.
Sloane: it honestly can't.
Sloane: and the charming thing about this AU, beyond their lack of emotional baggage all-around
Sloane: is that they don't spend years trying to fight what is obviously going to happen.
Kovsky: They are quite refreshingly straightforward and unangsty in this AU.
Sloane: and i love that they both acknowledge with every conversaton they have that it's a bad idea
Sloane: but they just don't bother bullshitting.
Sloane: they say, "okay, this is a bad idea. so. your place?"
Kovsky: hahahahahahaha

He shows up at the party in street clothes, carrying a six pack of beer and looking like he feels out of place. Somehow even so he looks like a cop.

Olivia sees him come in and goes to meet him. "Hey, you came," she says, and she's beaming for no reason. She didn't really expect him to show up.

When he sees her, it seems like he relaxes, smiles a little. "Yup," he says, and they just stand there looking at each other until finally he holds out the beer and it occurs to her to take it.

"Thanks," she says. "I'll put this in the kitchen."

Kovsky: Again, Elliot ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE A COP.
Sloane: it's his dna.
Sloane: and she relaxes him
Sloane: which is in HER dna.
Kovsky: OTP OTP OTP

He follows her, watches her shove it in the fridge. "So this is your place?" He leans against a counter.

"Yeah, me and Fin and Morty and Gordy."

When she mentions Fin, Elliot crosses his arms across his chest. But he just says, "Morty and Gordy?"

"Yeah, they're friends of ours. They're in a band. I don't know."

He nods like that makes sense, and says, "It's nice. The apartment."

She laughs. "It's a craphole."

Kovsky: I guess this is the point where I say that I actually know guys named Morty and Gordy. Who are in a band together.
Kovsky: And who are idiots. And, again, WHOSE NAMES RHYME.
Sloane: i am incapacitated with laughter
Sloane: it's the "i dont' know."
Kovsky: That's seriously how I explain them to people. "They're in a band. I don't know."

Then Gordy interrupts, wanting to know where to set up the drums, and she has to go show him, and she loses Elliot in the crowd.

When she sees him again, he's in the corner talking to some blond, but he's watching Olivia. She doesn't know what to make of that.

Alex is here, and Fin's showing her around, and Olivia's not sure if she's jealous or glad. She brings Elliot a beer.

"Hey," she says, standing over them, and the blond takes one look at her and gets lost.

"Thanks," Elliot says, smiling up at her like they have some private joke, and Gordy takes that moment to decide the band should start playing. Elliot winces and Olivia doesn't blame him. They're really terrible.

Sloane: 1) When she sees him again, he's in the corner talking to some blond, but he's watching Olivia.
Sloane: hot.
Sloane: 2) "Hey," she says, standing over them, and the blond takes one look at her and gets lost.
Sloane: SO HOT I CANNOT EVEN STAND IT.
Kovsky: heh. GOOD.
Kovsky: You KNOW the look Olivia must've been giving her.
Kovsky: it's the "Now would be good" look.
Sloane: i was just typing now would be good.
Sloane: we are fucking frightening.
Kovsky: I could not agree more.

"You wanna get some air?" Olivia yells, and Elliot nods and follows her out to their crappy little balcony, stepping over drunk Joe and stoned Kelly on their way. Olivia shuts the door, drowning out most of the noise, and they lean against the railing in tandem. She's tapping her thumb against the wood compulsively, aware of him warm beside her, and thinks, he's married.

"So this is your life," Elliot says.

"Pretty much," she says.

He turns to look at her, and his eyes are very blue. "So what am I doing here?"

Sloane: ADMINISTRATIVELY.
Kovsky: Augh, that last line still drives me crazy, because it is SO annoying movie dialogue, but people SAY crap like this so I left it in. But it still bugs me.
Sloane: well, but in fairness to him
Sloane: he's married.
Sloane: he is totally attracted to her
Sloane: and has gotten some signals
Sloane: but he is not the type of guy to proceed without a written invitation.
Kovsky: Yeah, that's true.

She can't look away from his face, and she doesn't have an answer for that except what is painfully obvious, and so she leans in to kiss him and get it all out in the open, and he leans in too, and when their lips touch he makes a noise in his throat and puts his hands on her hips, and she can't breathe. She steps closer and puts her hand on the back of his neck, fingers in the short hairs at the nape, and opens her mouth, and he kisses her like it's the last thing he'll ever do.

His tongue runs over her teeth just as a shout erupts from inside the apartment, alarmed, and there's a crash, and Olivia jumps back. Elliot puts his hands up defensively, looking worried. "What?"

Sloane: shout-out to a truly crappy movie.
Kovsky: Very, very crappy, yes.
Sloane: however, watching him make out still totally worth it.
Kovsky: Yeah, it's hot.
Sloane: because this?
Sloane: should be filmed.
Sloane: often.
Sloane: and then beamed directly to people's brains.
Kovsky: YES IT SHOULD
Kovsky: I think I wrote this whole section also because you yelled at me for not describing the kissing enough in other AUs.
Sloane: i thikn i yell at you in a constant effort to get more sexually explicit stuff out of you.
Sloane: because too few people write good, explicit stuff.
Kovsky: well, that's because it's hard.
Kovsky: ... no pun intended.
Sloane: i'll allow it.
Sloane: and it's extremely difficult.
Sloane: which is why i'm so hard on you.
Sloane: no pun intended.

"Nothing," she says, and wipes the corner of her mouth with her thumb. "I've just got to...." There's another crash and she grimaces and yanks the door open, rushes inside.

Gordy, who looks like a big Cabbage Patch doll, but who has a nasty temper, has gotten into a fight with Steve the guitarist, and they're rolling around on the floor, fists flying. The cymbals have been knocked over, which were the crashes, and people are circling them, laughing. Seriously, this happens at, like, every party, and it's getting annoying.

"Hey!" Olivia barks, annoyed, and she marches in, grabs Gordy by the back of the shirt and hauls him backwards. "Knock it off!" But Gordy's still fighting, and she gets a stray fist to the face that makes her stagger back.

Kovsky: The real Gordy really does look like a big Cabbage Patch doll, though he does not have a temper that I'm aware of.
Sloane: i was going to ask if "this happens at every party" was meta.
Sloane: but without the bad temper, i suppose not.
Kovsky: Yeah, no, but that would be awesome.
Kovsky: Also, man, I really hope that Morty and Gordy do not google themselves and find this story. OH WELL.

Elliot's right behind her, though, and he saw, and he grabs Gordy and throws him into a wall without a second thought, police move, gets Gordy's arms pinned behind his back.

"That was a very bad idea," Olivia hears Elliot whisper menacingly into Gordy's ear as she grabs Steve and pulls him in the opposite direction.

"Steve, what the hell?" Olivia says, and Steve shrugs her off irritably. "I'm getting sick of this," she says. "Maybe you should go."

"Fine," Steve says, and grabs his stuff. "Tell that psycho to get a grip," he calls over his shoulder as he stalks out, still red in the face.

When she looks back at Elliot and Gordy, Elliot's let go of him, but Gordy's crying, though there doesn't seem to be a mark on him. Elliot looks vaguely satisfied.

**

Kovsky: You notice how I put Elliot and Olivia wrestling people down in, like, half of these AUs. To make them more cop-like. Also, it's hot.
Sloane: teamwork. why the hell else are they so hot?
Kovsky: Totally. Also, I would pay a lot of money to watch Elliot make Gordy cry. HAHAHAHA.
Sloane: HAHAHAHAHA
Sloane: get on the horn and let the man know!
Sloane: "intimidate for charity!"
Kovsky: HEE. Omg that would be such a great service.
Sloane: hahaha
Sloane: "six hundred bucks to yell at my neighbor."
Sloane: 'a grand to make gordy cry!"
Kovsky: You could make a LOT of money for charity that way.

In the kitchen, she gets a pack of frozen peas to hold to her face where Gordy punched her. Elliot comes in a minute later.

"You okay?" he asks.

"Yeah," she says, and he takes hold of the peas, lifts them off her face to look.

He makes a face when he sees the bruise. "Yeah, you're going to have a hell of a black eye."

"Gordy's an idiot," she says as he reapplies the peas to her face and holds them there for her. She's very aware of where his fingertips are touching her face. "What'd you do to him, anyway?" she asks, and he looks over from the peas, meets her eyes. He smiles a little, dangerously.

"Me? Nothing."

"Right," she says.

Sloane: i can't even.
Sloane: i can't even.
Kovsky: A little hurt/comfort every now and then does a body good.
Kovsky: teh sexy tending of wounds!
Sloane: and it's not schmoopy hurt/comfort
Sloane: it's, "nice shiner. can i touch your face, please?"
Kovsky: Totally. Because schmoopy tenderness is LAME.
Kovsky: And Olivia would laugh in his face if he was like that.
Sloane: HAHAHA
Sloane: she totally would.
Sloane: whci his why he's pulling the move with the frozen peas.
Sloane: and why, in a moment, fin is like, hi, can i HELP YOU?
Kovsky: Exactly.

Fin walks into the kitchen at that moment, takes in the scene at a glance. He looks back and forth between them warily, then focuses on Olivia. "What happened to you?"

"Gordy and Steve had a fight."

"Again?" Fin says. He walks over and takes the peas from Elliot, none too subtly forcing Elliot to step back and away. Fin looks at Olivia's eye and winces. "You try to pull Gordy off again? Man, I told you to stay out of it."

"They were breaking stuff."

Sloane: allow me to do a subtext translation of this conversation
Kovsky: Please do.
Sloane: fin: what's going on here?
Sloane: olivia: elliot and i work like a well-oiled machine.
Sloane: fin: really? *peas* i thought you and i worked like a well-oiled machine.
Sloane: olivia: yeah, about that.
Kovsky: hahahahahaha! very nice.
Sloane: and i like them all the more because they can have this conversation
Sloane: and they both know what's happening
Sloane: but they can have a surface conversation at the same time.
Sloane: it's really bene gesserit of them.
Kovsky: it's really what of them?
Sloane: uh, a dune reference?
Kovsky: oh. okay.
Sloane: bene gesserit are a secret society of women
Kovsky: *cough*nerd*cough*
Sloane: who do shit with thier minds
Sloane: and they can have a surface conversation while making tiny hand gestures that read as a language, so you can have two converrsations at once.
Sloane: also, thank god i'm a bride of christ, because i'm never getting ANY.
Kovsky: HAHAHAHA

"So?"

"So go yell at Gordy for fighting again, and leave me alone. Where were you anyway?"

For a brief moment, Fin looks shifty, and she stares at him. "I was talking business," he says finally.

"With Alex," she says, a little on the loud side, and Fin looks around guiltily. Then he takes hold of her arm. "Excuse us," he says to Elliot, and walks her out to the balcony.

They break up in about ten minutes, no hard feelings, and Fin and Alex leave together.

**

Sloane: you know i love this fic.
Sloane: i must say, however, i would have loved more of the breakup.
Sloane: just because i like them.
Kovsky: Yeah, I like them too.
Kovsky: I can't remember why I didn't do more of the breakup. Probably just because I'm lazy.
Sloane: it's for insight like this that we have commentary.
Sloane: plus, narrative momentum
Sloane: sex is upon us!
Sloane: administratively
Kovsky: yis!

No hard feelings, yeah, but regardless Olivia goes into their room and sits on the edge of the futon to try to think for a minute. Her eye is starting to throb.

No career, no boyfriend, a crappy apartment and a skateboard with too many decals and not enough skill. Twenty-two years and not much to show for it.

Elliot shows up in the doorway after a respectable time period. "You forgot your frozen vegetables," he says, holding them up in one hand.

"Oh," she says.

He walks over and puts two fingers on her cheekbone, around the bruise. "Gotta keep the swelling down," he says quietly.

Sloane: he is NOT talking about her black eye.
Sloane: that is all i have to say about this.
Kovsky: HAHAHAHA EW

She nods. He kisses her.

"Me and Fin broke up," Olivia says, pulling back.

Elliot rests his forehead on hers. "I gathered."

"Okay, then," she says, and kisses him until she's out of breath, and then kisses him some more.

He pushes her back on the futon, and it's like they've been doing this for years, his hands under her shirt and her undoing his belt, and when they come, it's inexplicably together, and none of this makes sense. She rests her head on his shoulder and listens to his heart rate slow.

Kovsky: OMG FASTEST SEX SCENE EVER
Kovsky: THAT IS RIDICULOUS
Sloane: THANK YOU FOR FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGING.
Kovsky: Like, even for ME, that's ridiculous
Kovsky: I have no recollection of why I did that. I feel like it was getting late and I just wanted to finish the thing.
Sloane: you do have a bedtime around 10 at night.
Sloane: if the sun was going down, the pressure was on.
Kovsky: okay, THAT IS NOT TRUE, SHUT UP
Sloane: "the sun hath set, now so must i. a good night to thee!"
Kovsky: just because I go to bed before 6 am doesn't mean my bedtime's 8:30, Sloane.
Sloane: you just said you rushed a really hot sex scene because it was your BEDTIME.,

"What *are* you doing here?" she says softly.

He laughs, the movement of it bumping her head up and down. "You, apparently," he says, and she hits him.

**

Sloane: omg these are the otp of them all.
Sloane: this outstrips even the priest AU.
Kovsky: you think so?
Sloane: i do.
Sloane: i like them young, i like that elliot still has a little background angst
Sloane: but that he is smart enough to admit that denying it is just going to postpone it.
Sloane: of all the things you've written
Sloane: it's this one i want as a sequel.
Sloane: i love these versions of the
Sloane: and you can see where they're all going
Kovsky: You know the sequel will have more angst, though, right? He is married.
Sloane: fin will get famous and have olivia as his Hometown Friend
Sloane: Elliot's wife will kick his ass
Sloane: oh, yeah.
Sloane: and he knows it's coming.
Sloane: but really.
Sloane: how can you walk away from this.
Kovsky: Well, yeah.
Sloane: and they're all so young.
Sloane: maybe kathy will be okay with a divorce?
Sloane: you don't know.
Sloane: ...for, like, another four days until you write it.
Kovsky: well, maybe, except that she has his kid. And she might be pregnant with the second, actually, I'm not sure what the timeline is on that.
Sloane: oooh.
Sloane: okay.
Sloane: then i want to see them angst it out.
Sloane: i love these guys.
Kovsky: woo angst!

They do it again.

"This doesn't make any sense," she says afterwards this time.

"Tell me about it," he says, and pulls her on top of him.

**

"I don't know what I'm doing with my life," she says, making coffee in the kitchen and wearing his t-shirt.

"You ever thought about becoming a cop?" He is leaning back against the fridge with his arms crossed over his chest, watching her.

She laughs. "Uh, no."

"You should," he says.

She gets mugs down from the cabinet. "Will they teach me how to make Gordy cry without leaving a mark?"

"Totally," he says.

She smiles and considers it.

**
END

Sloane: i was going to love this ending
Sloane: even though we both know olivia doesn't become a cop.
Sloane: and now all i can thikn is how it's all going to go down the tubes.
Sloane: RUN, YOU POOR SUCKERS!
Kovsky: hahahahahaha
Kovsky: hey, it could be HAPPY after the angst
Kovsky: also, Olivia might really become a cop - what else is she going to do?
Sloane: i dunno.
Sloane: she doesn't need something else in the way of her relationship with elliot
Sloane: .if being a cop helps, go for it.
Sloane: if not?
Sloane: i will give her this:
Sloane: in this story, she doesn't ask for a WHOLE lot of unecessary drama.
Sloane: forgiving the obvious.
Sloane: she breaks up with fin right away, quietly
Sloane: doesn't make a scene
Sloane: doesn't make a go of skateboarding
Kovsky: Yeah, she's totally not a drama queen.
Sloane: so she woudln't purposely make things harder on herself.
Sloane: i guess you just have to define "harder."
Sloane: god knows it's easier to be with elliot if she's a cop
Sloane: but as a cop, what wll happen to her?
Kovsky: angst and drama?
Sloane: this is why i love this au so much
Sloane: such great characterization.
Sloane: also, sex.
Kovsky: hahahaha. you're easy to please.
Sloane: administratively