Priest AU Commentary

[annakovsky]

So, sloanesomething and I did a joint commentary on the SVU Priest!AU, Eleison, that I wrote a couple weeks back. We did it in AIM, but I edited it for readability, so hopefully it won't be too annoying. Also, you'll note that Sloane uses proper punctuation and spelling here, which if you've ever IMed with her, might make you fall over in shock. It took me HOURS OF EDITING, people. HOURS.

Sloane: So this is Sloane, and I'm here with Kovsky, who, at my behest, wrote Elliot and Olivia and priest and, uh, "supplicant" as part of our AU game. Kovsky, what were your thoughts on being handed this assignment?
Kovsky: Hahahaha, "supplicant"? Is that part of this AU?
Sloane: HAHAHA. I like supplicant in quotes. It sounds dirty.
Kovsky: I KNOW. You're sick.
Sloane: Thank you! Now answer my question.
Kovsky: I think on being handed this assignment my thoughts were, 1) panic, 2) awesome, 3) MUST WRITE THIS NOW
Sloane: Excellent.
Kovsky: It was a progression
Sloane: Like the stages of grief?
Kovsky: Yes. The stages of AU. They pretty much all go like that.
Sloane: ....is the last stage of grief the making out?
Kovsky: In our world, yes.
Sloane: Faaantastic. How did you settle on Olivia's role?
Kovsky: Uh, I think you told me what her role was, dude. You were like, "Catholic school. He's headmaster, she's principal."
Sloane: For God's sake, make something up.
Kovsky: Well, I felt they should be working closely together, but didn't want her to be a nun or anything. One level of hell at a time
Sloane: Interesting. I totally agree. So, let's begin!
Kovsky: Okay!

Olivia knows that Bishop Cragen was the one who pushed for her to be brought in as principal of Sacred Heart Academy. He's right, she's good at her job, but she worries a little bit about how the rest of the school will take it.

Kovsky: Hahahahaha, Bishop Cragen. That still cracks me up.
Sloane: Now, when you saw this, did you laugh?
Sloane: HAHAHAHAHA
Kovsky: Wow, we are so in sync
Sloane: This is the best commentary ever.
Kovsky: I heartily agree.
Sloane: I also like that you immediately establish that Olivia is very concerned with her role. That she feels out of place to begin with. It really suits her in this. Was that intentional or organic?
Kovsky: Totally organic. I think when I initially wrote this, there was a whole subplot with her being more progressive and Cragen resisting and not liking her, but that all got edited out.
Sloane: To what end?
Kovsky: Because you really need Cragen on her side in the rest of the plot.
Sloane: Very true. I love how I asked that like I didn't know.
Kovsky: Very duplicitous, Sloane. Anyway, yeah, this whole beginning is basically just the remnant of that subplot.
Sloane: That's really interesting, especially because it ends up working in her favor through the rest of the characterization. The result, I may assume, of much study and contemplation of the text.
Kovsky: Yes. I sat around thinking about the implications and definitely did not just post it immediately with minimal editing, praying to the feedback gods that someone would read it.
Sloane: Well, moving right along!
Sloane: MOVE RIGHT ALONG KOVSKY
Kovsky: God, you're so bossy.

She doesn't meet the headmaster until her first day. Father Elliot Stabler. He's friendlier than she expects, his handshake warm and firm.

He's young. Well, her age. He shows her around the school and says hello by name to the students they pass.

Kovsky: I don't know what she expected of Elliot, except clearly she thought he would suck.
Sloane: Well, to be fair, this is Catholic school.
Sloane: I do love that he knows the kids by name. Because it highlights his dedication to the school
Kovsky: Yeah, he's a good headmaster, I got that in on purpose
Sloane: And it also adds to her feeling of walking into the middle of something she's not sure about.
Kovsky: The whole outsider vibe, yeah.

Her office is between his and the counselor's, and when he leaves her there, she sits at her desk and stares into space for a few minutes. He is better looking than a priest has a right to be. This strikes her as unfair, though she's not sure why.

Sloane: WOO MAKE OUT
Kovsky: Hahaha, I like how she doesn't know why she thinks that's unfair. How old is she, 14? OLIVIA, IT'S TOTALLY OBVIOUS
Sloane: MAKE OUT NOW
Kovsky: Are you just going to say that the whole time?
Sloane: ...why else was i invited to the commentary?
Kovsky: Point.
Kovsky: I do sort of worry that I don't really sell the E/O relationship in all these AUs, just take it for granted. I mean, it gives them all an air of inevitability, or something, but I don't know if you weren't already into the relationship, if it would work
Sloane: Well, it's only the first page. Cut yourself some slack
Kovsky: Of course, if people don't already ship these two, I don't want them reading my fic ANYWAY, because they are LOSERS. Yes, bear, I'm looking in your direction
Sloane: BEAR, THEY MAKE OUT ALL THE TIME
Kovsky: LOOK AT THEM, BEAR
Sloane: Also, I have to say you do a really good job consisitently building tension
Kovsky: Oh, thanks.
Sloane: This fic and the skater fic especially. I mean, the ship is a given because I know you, but you work hard to sell it to the casual reader.
Kovsky: Yeah, the other reason I invited you to the commentary is to boost my ego, so thanks for that.

***

She must be fitting in all right, because on Thursday night they invite her down to the bar with them, their regular night at O'Malley's. Father Elliot and Monique Jeffries, the counselor, and Bishop Cragen and two men Olivia's never seen before.

Father Elliot puts his hand on her shoulder as he introduces her around, and she sees the men exchange a glance. "Olivia Benson, this is John Munch, our local rabbi, and Odafin Tutuola, our Baptist preacher." He keeps his hand on her shoulder as she shakes hands, like he's forgotten it's there.

Kovsky: I don't know if he'd really call him "Odafin" when he introduces him around, but whatever.
Sloane: Hey, if my name was Odafin, I'd make people say it ALL THE TIME.
Kovsky: ME TOO.
Sloane: "Hello, my name is Odafin."
Sloane: "Well, Miss -"
Sloane: "MISS ODAFIN."
Kovsky: You'd be popular at parties
Sloane: I'd have the butler announce it.
Sloane: "Miss Odafin Tutuola."
Kovsky: ... you go to parties with butlers?
Kovsky: Also, you notice that Jeffries appears in this segment and then NEVER AGAIN
Sloane: HAHAHA
Sloane: JUST LIKE IN THE SHOW
Sloane: THAT IS SO CANON OF YOU
Kovsky: "Now go do some paperwork, Jeffries!"
Sloane: "Way in the back. No, no, farther back!"
Kovsky: You know in the background she's always just, like, moving a stapler from one side of the desk to the other. Poor Jeffries
Sloane: She died as she lived. Totally filing some shit.

"Pleasure," Munch says, looking over his glasses.

Olivia takes a seat as Father Elliot goes to get them a round. "Well, this is very ecumenical," she says.

"It's the start of a bad joke," Munch says. "We walk into a bar, and...."

Fin interrupts with a groan. "Please don't."

"What?" Munch says, and Fin glares at him.

Kovsky: I don't know how funny this is objectively, but it cracks me up, so who cares?
Sloane: It cracks me up, too. And the nice thing here is, you don't have to sell this one. No tension means no pressure.
Kovsky: I would like to add that if I hung out with interfaith groups all the time? I would totally make this joke every time until everyone hated me.

Father Cragen steps in quickly, like it's a habit, turning to her to change the subject. "Olivia, how's your first week going?"

"Fine," she says. "It's a good school."

Father Elliot comes back with the drinks, and pulls up a chair so he's next to her. There's too many of them around the table, and his knee brushes hers. Neither of them moves away.

Kovsky: THE KNEE TOUCHING OF TWU LUV
Sloane: MAKE OUT NOW
Sloane: MAKE OUT MAKE OUT MAKE OUT.
Kovsky: Elliot is all, "Her knee touched mine! I must leave the priesthood!"
Kovsky: Uh, spoiler alert
Sloane: Way to keep your audience on tenterhooks, Kovsky.
Kovsky: Do you think anyone ever has read a commentary for a fic they didn't read? C'mon.
Sloane: I just wanted to use "tenterhooks" in a sentence.
Kovsky: Duly noted. It was quite impressive. I want to make out with you now.
Sloane: Hey, do I look like an ex-priest to you?
Kovsky: Sadly, no.
Sloane: Eyes on the prize, k-meister.


***

In the morning, she looks up from paperwork to see him leaning against the doorway watching her, a mug in his hand.

"Father Elliot," she says, surprised. "Hi."

"You want coffee?" he asks, and holds out the mug.

"Oh," she says. "Sure. Thanks."

He walks over and sets it on her desk, then looks at her with a little smile. "You can just call me Elliot, you know. You don't have to say 'Father' every time."

Kovsky: I think ex-priest Elliot is still my ideal man, is that strange?
Sloane: Not at all strange. He's great in this. Look at him buying her coffee!
Kovsky: He's adorkable
Kovsky: Also, thank God he tells her not to call him Father Elliot every time, because I felt ridiculous every time I typed it.
Sloane: Also, no offense, but thank god you dropped the Father. It's too weird.
Sloane: like we are.
Kovsky: hahahahahaha, NO JOKE

She nods slowly and focuses on the coffee. He'd brought her some sugar packets, and she rips one open carefully. "Okay," she says. "Elliot."

"I'm sitting in on Mary's class second period," he says. "If you need me."

"Great," she says, and watches him as he walks out.

From the crucifix on the opposite wall of her office, Jesus seems to be giving her a disapproving look. She doesn't blame him.

Sloane: SHUT UP, JESUS
Kovsky: HEY, STEP OFF JESUS
Sloane: ....mmm, roasting soul.
Kovsky: You're dragging me down with you. At Judgement Day, I'm totally going to be like, "Sloane MADE ME."
Sloane: Yeah. What's one more on the list of my really really egregious religious offenses.
Sloane: So sad.
Sloane: MAKE OUT NOW

***

A month into the semester, she's in the main office chatting with the secretary during the class change between fifth and sixth periods when there's a commotion down the hall - some panicked sounding screaming, like someone's being murdered. She immediately takes off running for the source, pushing her way through terrified 15-year-olds to finally see Elliot wrestling Kenny Harrison. Who is holding a gun straight up above his head.

Her stomach drops, but she immediately dives in to help, grabs Kenny's arm and together they get the gun away from him.

Kenny's crying and Elliot's holding his arms in a tight grip behind him, and Olivia's got the gun and it's heavier than she thought a gun would be.

Kovsky: This part is my attempt to give them a cop-type thing to do so the AU isn't quite so weird.
Kovsky: ... obviously, having an almost-shooting makes a priest AU TOTALLY NORMAL.
Sloane: I'm just cracking up.
Sloane: I do love the detail that she doesn't know how heavy the gun is. It's like you nod to canon, and then kick sand all over it. And I mean that in the best way.

Everywhere the students are in an uproar, and she hopes someone's called the cops already, and where is security?

"Okay, people," she shouts. "I want everyone in their classrooms NOW. Everything's okay, it's under control, but you all need to get out of the hallway."

She starts herding them along, and Elliot's muscling Kenny back towards the office. Kenny's still sobbing and Olivia hears Elliot murmuring to him as they pass her. "Okay, Kenny, shhh, calm down, it's okay."

Kovsky: Olivia would kick ass as a principal.
Sloane: She would. And I like that Elliot's sympathetic to the kid before you know what he did, because i know that if the kid had been an asshole elliot would have been up in his face
Kovsky: Yeah, totally.

The rest of the day is all police reports and calling Kenny's parents and reassuring kids and calming the place down and she is running on adrenaline all through it.

It's not until four, when everything's been taken care of and Kenny's been expelled (zero tolerance policy) and the kids have long gone home, that she finds herself alone in her office and suddenly shaky. She sits unsteadily in her chair and leans her head back, staring at the ceiling. Without warning she is envisioning all the ways things could've gone wrong - Kenny shooting a kid in the hallway, or himself, and blood everywhere, and her school hallway a crime scene. She can't stop shaking.

Kovsky: Zero tolerance policy lifted directly from my high school. I assume everywhere has this kind of thing, right?
Sloane: yo.
Sloane: Poor Kenny.

"You okay?" Elliot asks from the doorway.

She takes a deep breath and sits up straight. "Yeah," she says, on an exhale. "You?"

He shrugs ruefully. "It's hitting me now."

"Yeah," she says. "That... it could've been bad."

He slouches into a chair to the side of her desk. "Yeah," he says, looking into space.

"You were great, though," she says, and he smiles with half his mouth.

Sloane: The other half is MAKING OUT WITH HER
Kovsky: Yes. Clearly.
Kovsky: This is also a slight nod to canon, them being all melancholy and somewhat moralistic at their desks.
Kovsky: "Well, we've learned this week that you shouldn't bring a gun to school."
Sloane: I laughed so hard I choked on my water.
Kovsky: Heeeeeeeee.
Kovsky: *wins*

"No, *you* were great. I was terrified. Thought I was going to soil myself."

She laughs. "Me too."

"That kid," he says. "Getting picked on. Just trying to scare the other guys into leaving him alone."

"I know," she says. "I've talked to them a hundred times. Detention, suspension...."

"I know you have," Elliot says.

Kovsky: blah blah exposition
Kovsky: Elliot knows she's good at her job, though.
Sloane: and he's on top of her.
Sloane: ....administratively.
Kovsky: HAHAHAHAHAHA

She sighs. "What a world, huh? Sometimes I feel like there's nothing I can do to make things better for these kids. This job...." She trails off.

Elliot twists his mouth. "Guess it could be worse."

"Oh yeah?"

"We could be social workers. Or, God forbid, cops."

She laughs. "Yeah."

Kovsky: THE META! IT BURNS!
Sloane: HAHAHA
Sloane: So, here I see you've nodded to canon so hard your head is bleeding.
Kovsky: HAHA SHUT UP
Kovsky: Seriously, meta is, like, my besetting sin.
Kovsky: I know it's awful, but I can't stop!
Sloane: A minor sin.
Kovsky: Yeah, it could be worse, I could be making people write priest AUs

***

There's a knock at the door to her office and when she looks up, she's surprised to see Brian standing there, a goofy smile on his face. "Is Principal Benson here? I got sent to her office for discipline."

She rolls her eyes at him and he comes in, smirking. "What are you doing here?" she asks as she stands up.

"What, a guy can't surprise his girlfriend at work?" He leans in to kiss her hello, and it gets a little more long and involved than usual.

Kovsky: Cassidy: an idiot in any AU
Sloane: Which I love.
Kovsky: I have to say, though, he's kind of growing on me.
Sloane: DO NOT SAY THAT
Kovsky: HE IS.
Kovsky: I FIND HIS IMMATURITY SOMEWHAT ENDEARING
Sloane: However, I grant you that I crack up every time.
Sloane: Discipline. Come on, Cassidy.
Kovsky: I would so make out with someone who made that joke, were I a principal.
Sloane: I see.
Kovsky: I can feel you judging me through the internet.
Sloane: if only I were closer, so my judgement would hurt more.
Sloane: though this is my own fault for assigning you Olivia/Cassidy.
Sloane: Add it to the list, St. Peter.
Kovsky: Yeah, that's what started me off liking him. You should've known better.

Elliot's voice comes from outside. "Hey, Liv, do you... oh, excuse me," he says as he walks in the door and sees them. Olivia jumps back as though she's a high schooler caught making out under the bleachers, blushing furiously. Which is ridiculous.

Elliot, standing in the doorway, seems at a loss. He has a strange expression on his face and doesn't appear to know what to do with his hands.

Kovsky: He calls her Liv. Always hot. Also, they are getting CLOSE, obviously.
Sloane: I love it.
Sloane: I love that he's so confused by his jealousy
Sloane: because WE all know
Sloane: and he's like, "but...I'm a bride of Christ..."
Kovsky: HEE
Kovsky: This is the moment when he realizes he's screwed.
Kovsky: ... figuratively.
Sloane: ....administratively.
Kovsky: Exactly.

Brian looks back and forth between them. "Er... hi," he says finally. "I'm Brian Cassidy."

Olivia comes back to herself suddenly. "I'm sorry, Brian, this is Father Elliot Stabler, our headmaster. Elliot, this is my, er. Friend. Brian."

"Nice to meet you," Elliot says, subdued, as they shake hands.

Sloane: subdued.
Sloane: love it.
Sloane: not bitchy, not posturing
Sloane: just, thinking it over.
Sloane: He's a real introvert in this.
Kovsky: Internally he's like, "Fuck." Except, y'know, not swearing.
Kovsky: "Gosh darn it."
Sloane: the "gosh" during sex freaks me out all the time.
Sloane: I'm like JUST SAY IT
Kovsky: uh, in real life or in this fic?
Sloane: this fic.
Kovsky: GOOD
Sloane: in real life I do not have sex.
Sloane: I am a bride of Christ.
Kovsky: hahahahaha

"Likewise," Brian says. Turning to Olivia, he says, "So you wanna get lunch?"

"Sure," she says, and gathers up her things. When she looks up again, Elliot's gone, and all through lunch, she keeps thinking about the look on his face when he saw them kissing, trying to think of an adjective that describes it.

Stricken, she thinks briefly, before dismissing it. He's a priest. He wasn't stricken.

Well. She was going to break up with Brian anyway. It doesn't have anything to do with that.

Sloane: adore the fact that she's at lunch with Brian and totally ignoring him because she only has headspace for Elliot.
Kovsky: Well, you can't blame her. You know Brian is talking about, like, double entendres.
Sloane: and schoolgirl uniforms
Sloane: and potato chips.
Kovsky: Potato chips?
Sloane: i wanted to give him something to talk about that wasn't sex.
Kovsky: That's nice of you.
Kovsky: He would totally debate BBQ vs. sour cream and onion, too.
Kovsky: I buy your characterization.

***

When Elliot does the Mass he is absolutely sober, serious, quiet. He looks strong and trustworthy and holy and far away, his movements sure and focused.

After they say the Lord's Prayer all together, he continues with the liturgy alone, as is usual. But this time when he says, "In your mercy keep us free from sin," his eyes settle on Olivia, just for a moment. Then they move on as though he didn't even recognize her.

She watches him bless the elements and wonders what the hell she's doing.

Kovsky: I actually researched the liturgy. That is my commitment to this AU.
Kovsky: I googled stuff.
Sloane: as a former Catholic, I noted and respected this.
Sloane: as a reader, OMG MAKE OUT NOW
Kovsky: Is it wrong that I find this part totally hot?
Sloane: not AT ALL.
Sloane: because we know Olivia is totally gone on Elliot
Sloane: and we know Elliot likes Olivia
Sloane: but here we get proof that his feelings equal hers
Sloane: because even GOD cannot keep his mind off her.
Kovsky: Totally. Aww, priest Elliot.

***

She gets to O'Malley's at the same time as Munch and Fin, and as Fin opens the door for her, Munch says, "Okay, so a Baptist, a Rabbi and a Catholic walk into a bar."

"Does the Baptist kill the Rabbi?" Fin asks.

"No," Munch says. "He buys him a drink."

"That *is* a funny joke," Fin says, and Olivia laughs. They grab a table.

Kovsky: another dumb joke. I rock.
Sloane: you know this is my favorite bit in the whole story.
Kovsky: Haha, really?
Sloane: because I can see Ice-T delivering that line.
Kovsky: I love Fin so much.

"So where's your worse half?" Munch asks her. "The set-up works better with a priest."

Olivia is suddenly busy with her napkin. "Elliot? I'm not sure."

"Hmmm," Munch says, and when she looks up, he and Fin are glancing at each other.

Elliot never does show. She pretends it doesn't bother her.

Kovsky: Elliot is too busy off somewhere by himself freaking out.
Sloane: ...administratively.
Kovsky: Ew.
Sloane: I know, I know.
Sloane: and I actually believe that Elliot is talking to the bishop
Sloane: and the bishop is agreeing that leaving the priesthood is the right thing.
Sloane: because that bitch is FINE.
Kovsky: HAHAHA
Kovsky: Cragen and God agree!

***

In the second semester, she finally calls Bishop Cragen's office and gets an appointment to meet with him. It takes her three days to get up the nerve to call, and once she's made the appointment, she picks up the phone four times to cancel it. She never gets farther than two digits into the phone number before she hangs up, though.

When she finally meets with him, she asks for a transfer to another parish.

Cragen looks at her levelly for a few minutes, and she doesn't meet his eyes. He doesn't seem surprised. "And why's that?" he finally asks, his tone quiet.

"I... um," she starts. "Just feel that another place might be better. For me. Personally."

Kovsky: That first paragraph is super awkward, syntactically.
Kovsky: Too many numbers or something.
Sloane: You just wanted to say syntactically.
Kovsky: Guilty as charged.
Sloane: I love that Cragen knows why and is just hanging her out to dry on it.
Kovsky: Haha, I didn't even think about that, but he totally is.
Kovsky: You've gotta take your laughs where you can get them when you're a bishop.

He sits back in his chair, still looking at her quietly. "Is there a problem with the staff? What?"

"No," she says quickly, and then bites the inside of her lip. "Well. Not a problem." She can feel herself starting to blush and she stares at his desk.

"I see," Cragen says. "Elliot?"

She nods, and when she looks up, Cragen is looking at her compassionately.

"I wondered," he starts, and then stops. "I should've been more careful. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," she says.

Sloane: HE TOTALLY KNOWS.
Sloane: look at him making her say it!
Kovsky: I can't decide if that's kind of mean of him, or awesome, or both.
Sloane: I think both.
Sloane: go Cragen.

"Do you really think a transfer is necessary?" Cragen asks, and she nods. There is a statue of St. Jude against the wall behind him. Lost causes, she thinks. Ironic.

"All right," Cragen says finally. "I'll see what I can do." As she gets up to leave, he adds, "Do you want me to tell Elliot?"

She stops and then slowly turns. "I... yeah. Thank you." She hurries out before she can change her mind.

Kovsky: I learned that St. Jude was the patron saint of lost causes by reading the Great Brain books as a kid.
Kovsky: Very educational.
Sloane: fascinating, Kovsky. tell me more!
Kovsky: I'm going to ignore that sarcasm and move right along.


***

She almost tells Elliot herself. He's not in his office, and she actually goes around the whole school looking for him. She finally finds him in the chapel, sitting in the second pew with his head in his hands. He's praying.

He looks up when he hears the door, and his face is so open and vulnerable, like when you wake someone up from sleep.

"Hey," he says, blinking.

Sloane: okay, favorite scene, because it's intimate without being sexual.
Sloane: I mean, sexual is hot - MAKE OUT NOW
Sloane: but this is great.
Kovsky: It's totally my favorite too.

"Sorry to interrupt," she says, and starts to leave.

"It's okay," he says. "Me and God just had some... uh. Things to talk over. What's up?"

She opens her mouth, but she can't do it.

"Nothing," she says. "Sorry." She hurries out, and feels him watching her as she goes.

Kovsky: because he is praying ABOUT HER.
Sloane: I love the hint of predestination in this
Sloane: that he was obvioulsy asking for a sign as she was being driven to find him
Sloane: and she found him in the chapel, probably at the moment he was asking for some help in making the decision.
Kovsky: ooh, that's true
Kovsky: God is on their side, totally.

***

The next Thursday, she almost doesn't go to O'Malley's, but finally decides, screw it, she'll go. Elliot hasn't said anything to indicate that Cragen's even told him yet, and there's no reason to make things any stranger. Besides, she'll miss Munch and Fin.

When Munch goes up to the bar, before Elliot's arrived, she turns to Fin and says that. "I'll miss this. All of us, here together."

"Yeah, I heard," Fin says, and she looks at him sharply.

"From Cragen?"

He looks a little confused. "From Elliot," he says.

Her eyebrows are somewhere in her hairline. "What? What did he say?" Something in her stomach's just twisted, and all her muscles are tight.

Fin shrugs. "It wasn't easy, but leaving's the right thing for him to do, I guess."

Kovsky: ah, and now the miscommunication hijinks begin
Sloane: which I love.
Sloane: and I love that in any permutation, Fin is the confidant
Kovsky: Fin is so awesome.
Kovsky: And no one would talk to Munch.
Sloane: Hell no.
Sloane: and Jeffries does not even present herself as an option.
Kovsky: She's too busy with paperwork.
Sloane: Jeffries, THE COUNSELOR.
Kovsky: HAHAHAHA - I totally had forgotten about that by this point in the story. Jeffries who?

She has never been more startled. "What? He's leaving?" But he loves that school. He was there long before she was. That's not fair.

Fin looks at her slowly. "You didn't hear?"

She almost can't form coherent words. After a few false starts she says in a low voice, "He's not leaving because of me, is he?" Because she knows Fin understands.

Fin looks sorry, and half shrugs again. "It's not just that. But... well, it's the right thing for him to do."

Olivia's almost in tears, and she gets up from the table blindly. "I've got to go talk to him." She almost knocks Munch over in her hurry out of the bar, back to the school. She has to find him, tell him she's leaving, tell him he doesn't have to.

Kovsky: Hahaha, yeah, Munch is not the one you talk to, he's the one you almost knock over on your way out.
Sloane: I love that "it's not just that".
Sloane: What story was Fin reading?
Kovsky: HEE.
Sloane: Dear Fin, IT TOTALLY IS.
Kovsky: I'm sure when Elliot talked to Fin, he totally presented it as a whole spiritual journey thing.
Kovsky: Big liar.

The lights are off in the school, but he's still in his office, sitting at his desk, not doing anything. Just sitting.

"Elliot," she says, and when he looks up she doesn't know what else to say.

They stare at each other for a long moment.

"You heard?" he says, and looks rueful.

"Elliot," she says again, and pauses.

He shrugs a little, and he looks happier than he has in awhile. Like a weight's been lifted or whatever. He's not smiling, but he's lost that troubled look.

Sloane: Love it.
Kovsky: I wish I hadn't thrown the "or whatever" in there. Olivia is not me. She can commit to emotions.
Sloane: though I feel like "or whatever" is a little skater!benson.
Sloane: WE SHARE A BRAIN
Kovsky: hahaha, omg, stop doing that.

"I asked Cragen for a transfer," she says. "You shouldn't leave because of me."

He blinks at her and his brow furrows. "You did what?"

"I'm leaving," she says. "You don’t have to." She's breathing hard, like she's been running.

"Olivia," he says, and he looks at a loss. "You shouldn't... This is something I have to do. In terms of calling, of what's right - I have to do this."

"No, you don't," she says.

He looks at her for a long moment, and he looks like he loves her and she can't take it. "Yeah, I do," he says.

She turns on her heel and walks out, because it's all too horrible and he won't listen.

Kovsky: Aww, the love.
Sloane: angstcakes crosses all AU lines.
Kovsky: Angstcakes is a given. And this is the HAPPY AU.
Sloane: The force is strong with these two.

At home in her apartment, she sits on her couch to watch CSI, and it's fifteen minutes before she realizes she forgot to turn on the TV.

There's a knock at the door, and when she looks through the peephole, it's Elliot. He's not wearing his collar.

"You shouldn't leave the school," she says, like a broken record, as she swings the door open. "You love that place."

He laughs a little. "What, I should stay there all night?' She lets him through the door.

"Don't be flippant. I mean, you shouldn't stop being the headmaster because of me."

He blinks. "Leave... the school."

Kovsky: Her forgetting to turn on the TV cracks me up.
Sloane: MAKE OUT MAKE OUT MAKE OUT
Kovsky: That's all you're going to say for the rest of the story, right?
Sloane: MAKE OUT MAKE OUT
Sloane: also, I love his dorky joke

He gives a disbelieving laugh. "Olivia." He pauses. "I'm not leaving the school. I'm leaving the priesthood."

"The priesthood," she repeats stupidly, before it sinks in. She blinks. "The priesthood?"

"Yeah," he says. "No one told you?"

She shakes her head dazedly and he's watching her and she feels only the loosest connection to reality.

Sloane: ...administratively.
Kovsky: Yeah, way to tell her the pertinent information, FIN.
Sloane: hey
Sloane: Fin got fed the party line.
Sloane: not his fault.
Kovsky: Well, and he thought she already knew. They all seem to assume that there's a lot of talk going around.
Sloane: Obviously they have never seen the show,
Kovsky: And Olivia is clearly out of the gossip loop. I bet Jeffries would have told her.
Kovsky: Damn that filing!
Sloane: It's a dirty job
Sloane: And she's gotta do it.
Sloane: All of it.
Sloane: Everywhere in the world.
Kovsky: HAHAHA

"Why?" she says, finally, and she needs to sit down, but he's standing between her and the rest of the apartment, and she doesn't feel quite capable of pushing herself up from where she's slumped against the door anyway.

Then he smiles, and he leans in, and props his hand against the door and kisses her, and it's soft and tentative, and he's a PRIEST, so who knows how long since he's done this?

Sloane: MAKE OUT
Kovsky: THEY ARE
Kovsky: LEAVE THEM ALONE
Kovsky: Also, I found this whole inexperienced priest thing hotter than I thought I would.
Sloane: Well, it's because the depth of feeling is profound.
Sloane: it's not lust or desperation
Sloane: it's Love with the big L.
Sloane: so he's been waiting for this a long time.
Sloane: for almost an entire school year.
Kovsky: Look at you! You have a heart!
Sloane: ...then he gets hit by a truck and she takes his priest pension.
Sloane: they find his body outside a sleazy strip club.
Kovsky: hahahahaha

He's surprisingly good at it, considering, and he puts her hands at her waist, which is a good thing since she's not quite sure that her legs can support her. This has been the most surprising night of her life, and even without his tongue sliding into her mouth, she'd be a little shaky.

He pulls back for breath and laughs a little, delightedly, and moves in to kiss her again. She pushes him back. "Wait, what about God?"

He laughs more. "It's okay. Me and God had a talk. He's fine with it."

"Oh, really," she says.

"Yeah," he says, so close his breath is warm on her mouth, and he kisses her again, then pulls back to say, "God thinks you're hot."

She shoves him and he's cracking up, and she says, "You are the worst priest in the world."

"Ex-priest," he says, and kisses her.

Kovsky: "God thinks you're hot" was hands-down the most popular line in this story.
Sloane: I remember that.
Sloane: though my favorite romantic line comes a little later.
Sloane: no accounting for taste.
Kovsky: I would also like to point out that this was the original end of the fic.
Sloane: yes, it was.
Kovsky: But SOMEBODY insisted that I write her sex.
Kovsky: *COUGH*
Sloane: WHAT A GREAT IDEA OF HERS
Sloane: THAT DAME IS A CLASSY BROAD.
Kovsky: Are you in the P.I. AU now?
Sloane: Why would I go there? They don't even make out.
Kovsky: That was a major flaw of that AU, it's true.

***

They kiss against the door for longer than Olivia's kissed anyone since she was sixteen and didn't go any farther. Finally, when she realizes Elliot might be content to do this all night, she pushes him back towards the couch, and he almost trips over his own feet. He's flushed and breathing heavily, and he looks at her with wide eyes as she pushes him down and straddles his lap.

"This okay?" she asks, and he nods.

"Been awhile," he says roughly, and she smiles.

"Guess so."

Sloane: "Been awhile," he says roughly
Sloane: that's my favorite.
Sloane: because it's so sweet and a little tentative
Sloane: but you can tell that in three hours he'll be having SO MUCH SEX.
Kovsky: HEE.
Kovsky: More than he's had in his whole life so far, probably.

His hand on her breast is hesitant, but gets more certain, and he's kissing her throat and she can't believe this is happening. She pulls his t-shirt over his head, and he shudders as she touches his chest.

"Bedroom?" she says finally, and he looks at her for a long moment, almost panicked.

She sits back, and he says, "Yes," quickly, deciding.

She nods and gets up, and takes off her shirt and bra as she walks to the bed, him following behind. She hears his quick intake of breath when she drops them to the floor.

Then he is suddenly sure, in front of her, pushing her back onto the bed, kissing her nipples, working at the buttons on her pants. He's not good at it, but he finally gets it undone, and she does his, and he's so hard and desperate.

Sloane: Man, whoever made you write this was so smart.
Kovsky: I'm too embarrassed to even comment on any of this.
Sloane: here.
Sloane: MAKE OUT NOW
Sloane: you can move on.
Kovsky: Thank you.

He's trying so hard to hold back, go slow, but she's been waiting for this for months, and even if months aren't 20 years of celibacy, she's a little desperate herself.

"C'mon," she says, and he pushes inside her just a little too fast, and she bites back a grunt, and he pulls back to look at her, alarmed.

"Okay?" he says, and he's so worried, and she smiles.

"Yeah," she says, and arches her back, and he groans.

"Ohmygosh," he manages and she laughs at how he doesn't say 'god', and he's rocking in and out of her and she's already close.

Kovsky: I find the ohmygosh thing way too amusing.
Sloane: I find it really really a little disturbing
Sloane: Just because that's totally what he would do
Sloane: and I don't know how she didn't crack up.
Kovsky: She doesn't want to hurt his feelings.
Kovsky: Besides, she's Catholic too.
Sloane: true.
Sloane: and she's not really concentrating on it.
Sloane: MAKING OUT NOW
Kovsky: Exactly. She probably cracks up later.

He comes first, with a desperate sound, and he drops his head to her shoulder and kisses her neck, and when he realizes she hasn't finished he reaches down between their bodies and works at her clit until she does.

"Elliot," she says as she comes, and he pulls back to look at her, and his eyes are bright.

"Holy...," he starts, and seems at a loss as to how to finish the phrase. "... something," he finally says.

He lies on his back next to her while their breathing evens out, and as silence comes on, she says, "Worth it?"

"Oh yeah," he says, without even thinking, and she laughs.

***
END

Sloane: the touch of realism is very nice.
Sloane: unexpected.
Sloane: poor Elliot.
Kovsky: Yeah, well, I thought he shouldn't be too good at it.
Sloane: I totally agree.
Sloane: it's been twenty years.
Kovsky: And how much sex could he have had before that?
Kovsky: Also, you know what the backstory is that I just thought of?
Kovsky: He totally got Kathy pregnant, but then she lost the baby and there was angst and they totally couldn't even look at each other.
Kovsky: And he felt so guilty about it he joined the priesthood.
Sloane: Way to turn a really sweet story into a total downer.
Kovsky: Yeah, it's a gift.
Kovsky: Whatever, he's happy now!
Sloane: That he is.
Kovsky: This AU totally ate my brain.
Kovsky: Like, I was in class the whole rest of that week and I don't think I heard a word anybody said.
Sloane: Why do you think this story out of all of them?
Kovsky: I have no idea.
Kovsky: Maybe because it was happy.
Kovsky: And the UST was out of control, which is like my number one favorite thing.
Kovsky: Also, because you wrote all those insanely awesome drabbles that come after.
Sloane: HAHA
Sloane: That was just to get me back for making you write the sex scene at the end
Sloane: Because you wanted to cop out, and I insisted that after all this the audience deserved consummation.
Kovsky: Oh, was it "the audience" that you were concerned for?
Sloane: Yes.
Sloane: administratively.
Kovsky: I seem to remember some talk about how I could write it just for you and how no one else would ever see it.
Kovsky: and you're going to do that "administratively" thing for the rest of our natural lives, aren't you?
Sloane: why on earth wouldn't I?
Kovsky: ... I'm trying to think of a reason.
Sloane: I'll wait.
Kovsky: Sigh.
Kovsky: Any final comments?
Sloane: Every time i read this, and i have no idea how many times that is
Sloane: i always enjoy the build-up, the friendship under the UST.
Sloane: ...administratively.
Kovsky: hahahahaha
Kovsky: yeah, we're done here.
Sloane: *cuts*